She Dabbles

Yes, I'm still here....

2011-02-19T19:28:00.000-08:00

I'm focusing my energies on my TWO(!!!) daughters, my husband, my writing career, my home, my diabetes, and my blog White Sugar, Brown Sugar. If you'd like to continue keeping up with my family and our life as a going-green, transracial, Christian, healthy-eating, traveling family, I'd love for you to follow me at White Sugar, Brown Sugar.

Love and peace to all my readers!

I've been a little busy....

2010-12-21T21:00:00.001-08:00

as a mom of TWO girls. :)

Check out my blog entry to learn what's been going on.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Cards

2010-12-06T15:17:00.000-08:00

I got my first Christmas card of the season on November 29th. Let the card fun begin!

I absolutely love sending and receiving Christmas cards. It's a dying art, I know, and I'm saddened by the fact that my daughter's generation will probably be sending only e-cards (if anything) wishing one another a generic "Happy Holidays."

This year I decided to send a mini-package: a card (Hallmark---bought in clearance last year after Christmas), a letter, and a family photograph. I put Christmas stamps and return labels on each, a "Very Merry" stamp on the back, and the recipients' names in red and green. 'tis the season!

I hope you'll take some time this season to send a card or two or ten (or in my case, fifty plus). :) A card can serve as so many things---inspiration, connection, outreach, evangelism, reminder.

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write..."

Family Meeting

2010-11-30T11:27:00.000-08:00

I had to snap a photo of this "family meeting" at the zoo. Nothing deep or meaningful to say about it. I just found it amusing!

Green Living Continued...

2010-11-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

I recently finished reading Sara Snow's Fresh Living: The Essential Room-by-Room Guide to a Greener, Healthier Family and Home. I can't stop reading about going green!

I learned too many bits of info to type in a reasonable time frame, so to find out more for yourself and your family, check out Sara's book (or put it on your Christmas list!) and her website. The book has it ALL---lists, suggestions, stories, recipes. Enjoy!

Parrrr-tay!

2010-11-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

All natural cupcake mix (Trader Joe's) with homemade, agave nectar, vanilla icing. The dots are Skittles.

We got mini-pumpkins for 25 cents each at a Farmer's Market and had kids decorate them with dot stickers and/or pom-poms (Polka Dot Pumpkins!)

From a distance, colored paper plates serve as polka dots

I love planning events. There's the thrill of researching ideas, buying supplies, making food, etc.

This year my daughter's second birthday party theme was polka dots. I loved the simplicity and creative possibilities of this theme.

My goal this year was to have a simple, fun party that didn't cost a lot of money. The park was a perfect location and only $20 for the entire day!

Instead of gifts for Miss E, we asked that guests bring a gift for a child in foster care. We got five big bags of gifts!

The party went very well and I'm looking forward to next year's party. Theme: TBD.

What Brings You Joy?

2010-11-14T12:34:00.000-08:00

There are the things in life which bring us immediate pleasure---but are these things always good/healthy for us? No. Not always.

I LOVE my online life---which is seemingly so separated from my real life. I have a Facebook account, three blogs, an online adoption community, many blogs I read, my e-mail accounts (one personal, one work), and of course, my favorite websites and online stores. All it takes is the click of a mouse, and I'm in a virtual world of possibilities.

BUT, I have spent countless hours online. And I often wonder, were these hours well spent? When I had a moment to myself, like when the baby is sleeping and I've finished grading, was my time best spent browsing the newest line of Gymboree clothes or reading on a blog about a friend's Disney vacation?

Gulp. Probably not.

I have taken some good steps recently. I deleted my Twitter account. I took a two month break from the adoption community. I blog in seasons when I'm feeling inspired, and then on the days or weeks in between, check in sporadically only to moderate comments. But, I still have work to do!

Today I did something different. I put my daughter to bed. Then I finished my lunch, by myself. Then I took a long, hot shower (even shaving my legs!). Next, I ordered some library books, watched a re-run of Bewitched, and then brewed a cup of warm tea and read a chapter from the Bible while sitting at my kitchen table with the sunshine creating a warm, natural, well-lit environment.

Soothing.

I chose to create focus, calmness, and pleasure in my life today. And it's made all the difference (as Robert Frost says happens when you take "the road less taken").

Old habits die hard---someone once said. I'm not sure I'll ever stop feeding my love for online fun. But I'm definitely trying to reduce that pleasure to be an accessory to my real life instead of my OTHER life. There's too much good stuff right in front of me that doesn't come about from clicking and typing.

What pleasures in your life are hampering something better? What can you do today to create an environment of serenity and beauty in your life?

A dear friend recently shared with me that a lot of good things don't come about organically. Yes, there are those little surprises in life that pop up on a random day and plow a smile on our faces. But for the most part, we labor for the good stuff in one way or another. Choice by choice, day by day.

What are you laboring for? What needs to change?

Go for it!

I Said and Then Did

2010-11-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

My mom used to tell me, "Never say 'never.'"

Here are some things I said I wouldn't do as a parent and have:

1: Let my child eat something off the floor. First, she's REALLY fast. Second, you have to pick your battles. Let my daughter pick up her apple off the floor for another bite or risk having the apple thrown at the closest person? I pick A. :) Third, yes, it's gross. The 5, 10, and 15 second rules are all myths...but life goes on.

2: Bottle feed. I'm very much pro-breastfeeding, but when adopting, breastfeeding is an option but one that isn't easily done. First, who knows when the baby is coming? Second, an adoptive mom can rarely get enough milk to fully meet a baby's nutritional needs, so formula must be supplemented. Three, it's a ton of work. If you're going to consider breastfeeding an adopted child, here's a great book to get you started on making your decision.

3: Get a DVD player for the car. This past March, we decided to head to Alabama to visit my aunt and uncle---a TEN hour drive. Gulp. We broke down and bought a DVD player. It was magical---I'm not going to lie. BUT, we only use the DVD player on long car trips. Otherwise, it goes into the basement. For every day travel, my daughter has special books and car toys to keep her occupied....oh, and yes, my singing, too. ;)

What did you say "never" to before you were a mom that you gave into once you had your child?

For the Love of Books

2010-11-04T18:46:00.000-07:00

I love hearing my daughter say books. It sounds like BooKSSSSS. I love watching her quietly flip through book after book in her bed, or on the living room floor, or on my bedroom floor while I take a shower in the adjoining bathroom.

One day I went into my daughter's room to find her sleeping with this pizza book on her face. She just cannot get enough. :) (That's my girl!!!)

I have long believed that television, especially for young children, just isn't necessary. There is nothing more beautiful than pulling a child onto my lap, opening up a great book, and watching their eyes light up in wonder and excitement as I read page and page and we explore pictures and ideas. A television show cannot do that.

My daughter, now that she is nearly two years old, gets to watch about fifteen minutes of television a day, usually while I get ready for work or while I do her hair. She also gets to watch a DVD when we travel long distances toward a vacation destination. Otherwise, the television is off in our home.

It's very tempting to just flip on the t.v. and let her zone out. I mean, it's easier on me. I could something for myself---check my FB page, call a girlfriend, etc. But I realize these days and hours are precious time with my child that I will never get back, and I want to be the one teaching her words, not the television.

I guess my point is, reading provides intimacy and bonding and fabulous learning opportunities: beautiful moments.

Fall Fun

2010-10-30T15:29:00.000-07:00

Our garden is still producing tomatoes---yum!

Caramel apple cupcakes

Mini-pumpkins/gourds (what's the diff?) we got for 25 cents each at the Farmer's Market

This year's pumpkin----bedazzled!

Miss E thinks she can do anything---including pick up this very heavy pumpkin. I admire her determination!

Vitamin D: What Every Parent Needs to Know

2010-10-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

I'm a writer and reader of Diabetes Health online. A recent article on Vitamin D was very educational, and I'm hoping all my readers who are parents will take a few moments to read it. CRITICAL information! Being a mom of a brown baby makes vitamin D even more important!

Looking Over This Year...

2010-10-20T21:11:00.000-07:00

Here's some of my major accomplishments over the year (thus far) that I'm pretty proud of:

I went greener and continue to go green. I recycle more than ever, I think twice about what I buy and how I use what I buy, I scrutinize beauty products, and I think outside the box as much as possible to create less waste and more reward for all.

I stopped using my cell phone while driving. I learned that talking or texting on a phone while driving is the equivalent of driving drunk. I will not put myself, my family, or anyone else in harm's way by operating a car while using a cell phone.

I became a vegetarian for the second time in my life. For seven months, I went without meat until that fallout with Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets at the beginning of October. Oops! But three nuggets doesn't count as failure. :) My daughter is also a vegetarian. My husband, well, let's say he tries.

I worked harder on being active in the diabetes community. This summer I volunteered in the diabetes center at a local hospital. I wrote a lot of articles (twenty-five thus far) for Diabetes Health online. I'm DOING something about diabetes! I'm being interviewed for a diabetes book for women, and I took part in an MTV filming on a show featuring a young lady with pre-diabetes.
I let diabetes become more normal. There are so many rules about what a person with diabetes should and shouldn't do, but the truth is, I'm a person, I'm me, above all. This year I've taken charge of easing up (oxymoron, perhaps?). I've eaten ice cream in bed (see above photo), I've stopped counting calories and instead have focused on eating real foods in moderation (bye, bye Splenda!), and have exercised for pleasure and not just obligation.

I'm reading the New Testament to figure out who Jesus really was and is. This started as a church-initiated thing (a chapter a day) and turned into my own Bible reading time (and NOT a chapter a day---but usually about 4 chapters a week). I stopped leaning on devotional-books to teach me about my God and went to THE book.

I generated an adoptive-family reading list---and I have read every book on the list. All 100+ of them! This is also the approximate one-year anniversary of my third blog: White Sugar, Brown Sugar.

I'm learning how to better budget money and to say NO to impulse buys and useless STUFF. I'm donating as much as I can (why keep what you don't need/use?).

2010 has been good to be thus far. I hope the last two months are as wonderful as the first ten.

----

Take some time to reflect. What has gone well in your life this past year? What are you proud of? What blessings is your heart clinging to?

Want God?

2010-10-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, we're driving home from church and my daughter is in the backseat chatting with herself (or her imaginary friends, or to us---I'm not sure). I told her, "We're going home to have pizza for lunch!" (She loves pizza).

A few minutes later, we hear her singing a word over and over to herself. The funny thing is that we weren't sure if she was chanting "Pizza" or "Jesus" which sound A LOT alike. Luckily, Lord, you are equated with goodness. :) We weren't sure if she learned a new song in Sunday School or if she was excited about lunch, but anyway....

I am not sure how to incorporate God into our home in a way that effectively communicates our faith to our daughter. However, a wise friend once said to me that if I, as the mother and wife, am pursuing a deep and continuing relationship with God, I'm already on the right path to promote those beliefs in my household. Genuine Christians radiate Jesus---period.

We pray with our daughter, and she prays on her own. I tell her before lunch everyday, "Say your prayers before you eat." She mutters sounds that sound like sentences (we joke she's saying, "Jesus, please help me. I have crazy parents.") and then proudly exclaims, "AMEN!" and releases her hands from "prayer" stance to gobble up her food.

We pray every night for our daughter's birth family, for our family, and that we have a good night's sleep and a "great day tomorrow."

We sometimes listen to Christian music, though I confess, much of it I cannot stand.

Beyond that?

I got nothin'.

I recently ordered an adorable book from my library called Don't Mess With Moses by Marty Nystrom. The poems are hilarious, and the illustrations, unlike many Bible-based books, are contemporary and colorful. I'll definitely refer back to this book when my daughter gets older.

I can't stand artificial nonsense especially in terms of one's Christianity. Formality can be comforting and predictable, but it also lacks heart for some people, me included. So I struggle with creating a family devotional time or forcing my daughter to learn "Father Abraham." Plus, I hate most kids' songs (but I know, I know, it's not about me!). Veggie Tales videos grate my nerves, and we don't watch much TV in our house.

So, what?

My daughter is a sponge right now, so I have no reason not to foster a faith-education in our household. And I know I won't mess it up, I mean, she's not even two years old. :)

Any suggestions? How do you incorporate your faith into your child's life in a way that's organic rather than formal/artificial?

Renewal

2010-10-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

Photo: My daughter running toward my husband in the apple orchard.

I love when the seasons change and I find myself motivated to renew, to grow, to change. And mostly, to relax and relish in TODAY.

This summer was MISERABLE. The temperatures crept up to 115. The humidity was beyond stifling. And now? Gorgeous! About 70 and sunny during the day's high, and the evenings are crisp. We don't have on our air or our heat. It's simply perfect. And I am so thankful.

What's going on around here? Life----everyday, ordinary life. We work, we play, we eat, we sleep. We've taken a few weekend trips---one to visit my daughter's birth family and another to visit relatives in Chicago. Soon will come a season of birthdays (almost all of my family's b-days fall during the winter) and holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas). I've been Christmas shopping a little at a time (love it!), and I can't wait to put up our tree and mail out Christmas cards while sitting next to a blazing fireplace and sipping some hot chai tea.

I am so thankful for seasons like this----peaceful, refreshing, and inspiring.

Teaching Kids About Going Green

2010-10-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my top picks:

Curious George Goes Green (video)

The Earth Book (Todd Parr)

Tess's Tree (Jess M. Brallier)---also an awesome book about change and loss.

Staying Green

2010-09-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

I have continued to stay green in my house, as much as possible. :) It's funny how Christians tend to focus so much on morals but forget about the first book of the Bible, Genesis, and God's love of the earth. I personally have felt more convicted to respect the world and stop unnecessary wasting in my home. I'm adamant about recycling, I re-purpose as many things as possible, donate more, and spend less money. Winning all the way around!

For example, instead of buying a new soap dish (we're going to all bar soap here which is healthier) for my homemade, healthy soaps that I buy our local farmer's market, I brought out a lovely flower-shaped dish given to me by my husband's grandmother to house the soap. What's fabulous is that otherwise, this dish would sit in my cabinet until a special gathering. By why not make every day special? I love looking at the dish every day (multiple times, while hand washing) and thinking of Grandma. :) Plus, I didn't spend a dime on a new dish!

Recently, a few of my friends had their babies, and instead of wrapping the gift boxes, I left them as-is. The current Gymboree gift boxes are colorful and so fun (I love polka dots!). Why cover up those dots with wrapping paper?

On My Nightstand

2010-09-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

A few books I highly recommend for all you domestic ladies or wanna-be-domestics:

Handmade Home (Amanda Balke Soule): This book is a piece of art! I love that Soule features pictures of her home and family. Soule offers products to "inspire family feasts," to "inspire wellness and care," to "inspire imagination and growth," to "inspire adventure and exploration," and to "inspire calm and peace." What does that mean? Soule teaches readers how to create beautiful things like table runners, cloth diapers, wall pockets, pillowcase dresses, member tree quilt art, and so much more. I love that the projects vary so that everyone, no matter the skill level (from beginner to advanced), can find something to create. The author includes templates for her projects and a resources page.

Her website is equally as wonderful! I hope in honor of Fall Into Fall, you'll check it out!

Do It Gorgeously: Homemade and Organic Solutions for Every Woman's Life (Sophie Uliano): Has. It. All. :) I'm a fan of Uliano's, and I was anxiously anticipating the release of this book and then, my library calling to tell me it was finally my turn to have it for three whole weeks. The book's front cover description: "How to make less toxic, less expensive, and more beautiful products." Uliano shares recipes and tips including how to make your own sunscreen and cellulite creams, how to better care for your little ones (think nontoxic mattresses and how to cut your child's hair), how to be more fugal, how to get your act together in the kitchen, how to DIY (various), how to be more green, how to save $$$, how to take care of your furry friends, and how to be more fit (your mind, body, and spirit). This book includes several pages of resources for further inspiration.

What's on your nightstand?

House Porn

2010-09-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

Yep, you read the title right.

I first heard the term in a grad school class, when somehow the conversation turned toward the addiction to HGTV. My teacher laughed and said that those shows were simply "house porn."

I love looking at houses. I have spent hours on realtor.com, looking at house plans, and tearing out pages of magazines for my dream home binder. I have taken several photos that have inspired me---some are included in this blog post.

My dream house:

A craftsman style home---a ranch or a two story with a walkout basement. Or a fairly traditional-style home but NO cookie cutter, please!!!

A fabulous lot---flat, large, and lush.

Low maintenance landscaping. Flowers are lovely but attract bees and require way more work than I'm inspired to do.

A large, beautiful kitchen that inspires.

An open floor plan so I can always have my eyes on my little ones and also to entertain with ease.

One eating area. I do not desire a formal dining room which isn't conducive to family living and I believe, generally, is a waste of space.

Large bedrooms.

All wood floors.

Soothing decor---lots of shale blues, silvers, whites, and tans. I also love black and white.

Simple, fairly traditional, functional furniture and decor.

3 car garage.

Thick and tall crown moulding and floor trim.

Oh, I could go on and on forever!

This blog post was brought to you by the Fall Into Fall project and was inspired by my online friend Katie and her lovely blog! Katie blogs about her home and her family; she also includes lots of house porn!

What would your dream house look like?

I Can't Help It

2010-09-14T13:09:00.000-07:00

I simply can't help it. I'm disturbed by the snacks served in churches to children.

We are currently searching for a new church. Let me say that some churches have amazing children's programs. Not only is the staff friendly, the decor captivating, and the curriculum promising, but there is simply an energy about these places that shows kids that church is cool. God can be a lot of fun. I love it.

I realize that churches have budgets. But I'm also disheartened when godly people put emphasis on service, tithing, Bible reading, etc. and not on taking care of one's own body. After all, we are called to love others as we love ourselves, and if we don't love ourselves and take care of the glorious bodies God gave us, then how can we accurately meet the needs of others? You can't give what you don't have. If you don't pocess self-control when it comes to food and other aspect of self-care, how can you best care for others?

I'm no saint. Lord knows I love funnel cakes, stuffed crust pizza, and raw cookie dough, but because of my diabetes, I can't stuff myself with that food. I guess I'm a little lucky by default. One point for diabetes.

I have very high expectations when it comes to food. So when I volunteered to be snack coordinator at Bible school this past summer, I worked very hard to prepare healthy snacks for eighty-plus people each evening. I can't go against my convictions, even if it costs a little more money. (See photos above). We served whole-grain trail mix, cheese and whole wheat crackers, plain yogurt with granola, organic cookies (which yes, are still cookies, but without some of the nasty stuff that other prepacked cookies contain), and water. These treats were a huge hit!

I don't get why nursery staffers insist on serving so many cheese crackers (that have zero nutritional value) and 10% "fruit" juice to kids. That doesn't nourish them, and in fact, all it does is jack up their blood sugar so that when their parents come pick them up, the kids are crabby and on their way into a low blood sugar abyss. Ug. And let's face it, we all get in food ruts. We think, yes, we'll have a few cookies, which turns into four, which turns into half a package. Unhealthy foods breed cravings for more unhealthy foods.

And it doesn't stop with the kids. So many church parties and functions support unhealthy eating habits. I have attended countless Christian events where the food is hardly healthy.

Is it a lack of educaton? A lack of funds? A lack of caring about the snack when the goal of church is spiritual and not physical? I don't know.

But I'm determined to make an impact wherever we are planted.

I am encouraged, on the bright side, by the number of healthy-living/weight-loss groups churches have. I feel like finally I'm finding a place where people care about some of the things I do.

I get that I'm anal about healthy foods, and I also get that not everyone cares nearly as much about this as I do. But I am also not going to lower my expectations and beliefs to fit the norm----because the norm is simply not healthy, nor, do I believe, is godly.

I'm a Dreamer...

2010-09-12T19:02:00.000-07:00

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." ~Theodore Roosevelt

My husband and I were sitting on the couch the other night, and he was listening patiently (as usual) to my rambling thoughts on a house I'd love to buy. The problem is that it's $150,000 over our budget (yes, you read that right), it doesn't have a garage or proper parking, and there are only two bathrooms. Oh, and the taxes are astronomical because the house is 150+ years old and is in an official historic district.

Oh, but the wood floors, the built-in storage, the simple white kitchen, the tasteful decor, the lush yard....

I often laugh and call my husband my "Dream Dasher," but in truth, he's the guy who keeps me grounded.

I don't get numbers. I never have, and I honestly have no desire to understand math. I prefer art, poetry, herbal tea, reading books, and shopping for organic groceries. Yeah, I'm like modern hippie lady...sort of. Not to mention I have incredibly high expectations and lots of dreams. Big dreams.

I'm not at all unhappy with my life. I have it all, really. A faithful, patient, God-minded, caring husband who provides well for our family. We have a beautiful, happy, funny toddler. Our home is within our price range and has many great features including a large backyard and a sunny kitchen, oh yes, and a fabulous location (just minutes from the library, a mile from the new Kohl's---woo hoo, and not far from either of our jobs). We aren't in debt. Our parents are both still married to each other, and there's really no drama. All is calm, all is bright.

But I am constantly thinking about tomorrow. (Yeah, don't quote me that verse in Matthew about tomorrow will bring its own troubles and we should focus on today.). I have picked out the names of my future children, what my next house will look like, what my daughter's birthday party themes will be for the next few years, a Christmas list, what I might take to Thanksgiving dinner....

You get the point.

It's really hard for me to live in the moment. I have to fight my personality (Miss Type A) often. And oh, is it a battle sometimes!

Is being a dreamer bad? I don't think so. Having goals is good. Hoping for the very best, well, in my opinion it's better than believing the worst. But sometimes, it's easy for me to slip into my own will instead of letting life happen as it should.

And wow, does God have some awesome surprises that can NEVER, not in a million years, be dreamt or planned.

I am a believer in growing where you are planted---using where you are at today to do what you can and what you should. But this has never stopped me from wanting more. And I'm not talking about consumerism in that I want the latest in greatest. I want things that last and that matter most to me---a beautiful home for my family, good food, strong bonds and sturdy relationships, fantastic holidays.

There's a balance there, one I'm always seeking out. I'm not sure I'll ever get it right, but I guess I can keep dreaming about it. :)

Get Out!

2010-09-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

My daughter modeling her nature bracelet

Our big backyard

Organic tomatoes post-boiling-water-dunk and ready for step #2 in the process of making pasta sauce

Our daughter under the weeping willow tree

I've never been one to love the outdoors despite growing up in the country. For one, I despise being hot. For another, I do not like animals. And lastly, mosquitoes LOVE me.

However, having a child has motivated me to embrace what nature has to offer. Plus, I know there are many health benefits to being outdoors, including boosting one's vitamin D level (very important, especially for people with diabetes), being active (yeah for exercise!), and getting away from technology and the stress of every day life.

We are blessed with a fabulous backyard---it's large, flat, and grassy. My favorite part is the weeping willow tree---a sanctuary of greeness. My husband grew an organic garden this summer which produced a ton of tomatoes and made for a great learning experience for all of us, including our daughter who got to see the garden grow and produce food for our family.

I'm learning to appreciate nature more, but I have to admit, I went to some resources for help. Here are a few that have inspired me, and I hope that they'll inspire you, too:

The Gentle Art of Domesticity (Jane Brocket): I cannot recall exactly where it was stated, but the author asks her readers, when is the last time you connected with nature by touching the bark of a tree? Such a simple question. However, that was hint enough for me to do it. My daughter and I touch the bark of our weeping willow and also touched the bark of a tree at the local park. In a world full of keyboards, it was surprisingly refreshing to touch a tree. Give it a whirl! And when you're finished, read the rest of Jane's book for more fabulous ideas.

The Nature Connection: An Outdoor Workbook for Kids, Families, and Classrooms (Clare Walker Leslie): This book is perfect for school aged children and would work well for families who homeschool or just want to appreciate nature more. I have NEVER liked science, but this book offered so many wonderful activity ideas that I reconsidered what "science" actually means in everyday life.

The Creative Family: How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections (Amanda Blake Soule): LOVED this book. Beautiful illustrations and inspirational tips. One of my favorite nature activities in this book is to create a seasonal nature table. The author's family used the top of a piece of furniture in their dining room to display nature finds---pine cones, a leaf, an acorn, a smooth rock, etc. Her kids were encouraged to find beautiful things to add to the display.

The Toddler's Busy Book (Trish Kuffner): My favorite nature activity from this book: tape a bracelet around your child's wrist (sticky side out) and allow him or her to stick natural finds onto the tape. My daughter and her friends loved this activity at a recent play date.

Please visit some of my favorite blogs, in honor of the Fall Into Fall project, to learn more about healthy, happy living:

Passionate Homemaking

Red Gate Farm

Tracey Bianchi

Gorgeously Green

Clean and Simple Life

Fall INTO Fall

2010-09-04T13:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Bloggers,

It’s hard to believe that the summer season is quickly ending. If you’re anything like me, you’re ready for change.

Fall more in love with reading this fall. Embrace the new season with a refreshed mindset. Learn to open your mind and heart to something and someone new while supporting fellow bloggers.

The goal: Promote your favorite blogs by writing about them on your own blog. Link your readers to the bloggers who inspire and empower you. Interview other bloggers if you wish. Share your favorite posts. Cultivate a season of refreshed minds!

Fall Into Fall begins September 1st and continues until November 15th. Feel free to cut and paste pieces of this message into your blog. And be sure to tell your favorite bloggers that you are sharing their blogs with others. Hopefully, they’ll return the favor!

Happy reading, and let’s get to writing and celebrating!

Rachel

Best of Both Worlds

2010-08-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a lovely home (100 year old Victorian farmhouse), on vast space (two acres of fun!). No doubt this experience shaped me and inspired me. I'm so proud of the place that was my home for the majority of my life (thus far), and I want to share a few photos with you.

The front.

Tire swing

The side (my room was the one where the left, upper window is).

The big red barn.

The treehouse. We made many mud and birdseed pies under it.

The porch swing. I can't even begin to count how many conversations between friends and family members took place on that porch.

Hummingbird heaven. On a given summer day, there are fifteen or more birds per feeder. Oh yes, and the swimming pool in the background. Ahhh!

I want for my daughter what I had---space to run and play and imagine. We never had a fence growing up, because who needed one in the country? However, we live in a suburb where a fence is put up for safety and buying an acre takes a wealthy individual. Most lots are 1/4 of an acre, sometimes much less.

Plus, I enjoy the convenience of suburban living. I'm just minutes from the library, the grocery store, the University where I work, Wal-Mart, and oh yes, the Kohl's that will open in a month. There's churches, dance studios, parks, bike paths, a zoo, a children's museum, etc. just a short drive away. I'm not a patient person, and I plan my time carefully. The thought of driving twenty or thirty minutes to buy toilet paper isn't appealing to me.

I really want the best of both worlds---a private, large piece of land that isn't far from the places we need and want to go. I want a new house that looks old. I want a home that has modern conveniences but lots of character.

Is the best of both possible? I hope so.

Where Art Thou, Fall?

2010-08-24T18:46:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would say this, but I am SO tired of summer.

Our area of the country has seen record high temperatures for weeks. The heat index some days is 115+ degrees. Humidity makes it impossible to breathe outdoors. Our air conditioner runs constantly. (It went out a few weeks ago, and thankfully, our neighbor, who happens to be a builder, had a friend who got to our house PRONTO). The sun can burn one's skin in a matter of minutes.

I've been home with my daughter for nearly four months straight. This summer has been full of blessings. We took a few vacations (one to visit our daughter's birth family & present adoption to prospective adoptive families, another to Memphis, TN), had many playdates, E took swim lessons with dada, we visited parks (when it was cooler), made our own laundry detergent (woo hoo), finished the basement play area, and went to the library multiple times a week. I wrote several articles for Diabetes Health, organized the basement---woo hoo!, volunteered once a week at a hospital in the diabetes center, and created a meal rotation schedule (to come in a future post or article). I went out with girlfriends and had some great times. Hubby and I went on our first weekend (well, 24 hour) getaway since having our daughter.

I used to love summer. I grew up on two acres of fun---a 100 year old Victorian farmhouse, a swimming pool, several outdoor buildings, a garden, fruit trees, and a tire swing. Beautiful! Having a pool was the best, because no matter how hot it was, there was always the pool.

But now I'm all grow up with a house and a family of my own. We don't have a pool, but we do have a demanding toddler and a cranky (summer ripe) mommy----both of whom are ready for fall.

I'm ready to...

enjoy the scents of pencils, roasting marshmallows, leaves, and apples.

enjoy mild days and crisp nights.

walk outside instead of on a treadmill inside a gym.

drink hot tea.

curl up under blankets.

make soup and bread for dinner every night.

read Apple Farmer Annie to my daughter.

spend evenings at the park.

take trips to Eckert's and enjoy picking apples and later, choosing pumpkins.

bike on the local trails on Saturday mornings.

wear my favorite jacket and scarf.

bake warm, homemade desserts.

turn on our fireplace.

shop for Christmas, decorate for Christmas, and write Christmas cards.

What are you looking forward to as the season changes? How can you cultivate change in your life right now in preparation for the upcoming holidays?

Finding a New Home

2010-08-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

We are officially church-hunting. And oh my, is it an experience.

Background: We've been at the same church for seven years. When we first got married, we initially drove to visit our families every weekend, including going to church with them. But that's not really leavin' and cleavin', so we decided to find a church of our own. We had no idea how to do this. We had been in church since we were both babies and grew up in an area where you picked a church and went there for life.

I was in a children's lit class one day and started talking to a peer. Come to find out, she was a pastor's wife. We went to their church the next Sunday and never left. It was bigger than the churches we grew up in, but not too big. Soon we became involved---children's ministry, finance committee, mission trips, and mom groups.

Recent changes and personal desires have us now on the hunt for a new church to call home. It's overwhelming to choose the place where you put your trust, your money, your service, and your spiritual vulnerabilities.

We want a church that...
1: Preaches and lives by the Bible. Just straight up Scripture.
2: Has energy for Jesus and for people.
3: Is racially diverse.
4: Supports adoptive families.
5: Has small groups where we can get connected.
6: Is contemporary(ish) in its services but isn't watered down.
7: Has open Communion---no rules about who can and can't participate in the Lord's Supper.
8: Is friendly---genuinely so.
9: Has an awesome kids' ministry including curriculum for young ones like our daughter.
10:Feels like home.

Thus far, we've only visited one other church, twice. The items on our hope list are mostly met. I've already been approached to considering jumping into an adoption ministry group. My husband would like to take part in some men's events.

But how do we know we're "home"?

I'm not convinced we are ready to decide, so we need to visit more churches.

The day I write this blog entry (a Sunday), we heard the pastor preach on Tx4: Take Time To Think. (And not just think, really, but pray and listen to God's response). (Click on the sermon from 8/14/10).

Now, I'm one who generally has a short attention span. I'm so type A, ready to do the next thing, and I find my mind wandering during sermons, thinking things like: What should I make for dinner this week? Hmmm, what's my blood sugar right now? Is E ok in the nursery? Ooops--I forgot to send that e-mail. Gee, I really need to paint my toenails.

This pastor held my attention, and in a good way. I leave the church feeling challenged and inspired---by the Bible. By what God says. And that's a good thing.

Our family is in an interesting place right now. We're church hunting, we're trying to figure out when and where we want to move to, and when we'll adopt again. These are big choices.

And that's why I love that the pastor preached on Tx4. He shared that God often says no to our requests...and we need to get that God isn't a genie or Santa. He doesn't live to please us.

Great analogy from the pastor: People treat God like a vending machine. We put in our money (our prayers), hit B6, and wait for the Snickers to fall out. Of course, it doesn't. So we first push the button again---this time with fervor. Nope. So then we ram our arm up the machine. Nope. So then we get crazy---we rock the machine. As the pastor says, no Snickers bar falls out, but six packages of Skittles do. :)

I think I'm scared to go to God so many times because I'm really afraid He'll say no. I'm a tackle it and run with it girl. I get a project or an agenda, and I will pursue it with passion, vigor, and enthusiasm until the thing is DONE. But I'm learning gradually that square pegs don't fit in round holes.

But if adoption taught me one thing, it's to LET GO and LET GOD. Yeah, totally cliche. But truly, when Christians seek God's will first and let the right blessings come as a result, there's much less heartache, much less drama, and much less unnecessary stress. So I'm trying to seek God first, I'm trying to be ok with Skittles instead of Snickers, and I'm trying to lean on the One who knows so much more than I do.

And in the meantime, we'll keep church hunting. :)

Date Weekend---Well, 24 Hours, At Least

2010-08-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

In June, I shared a heartfelt post called Back Burner on my transracial family living blog, White Sugar, Brown Sugar. Despite being a blogger, I don't reveal every detail of my life online, mostly because I'm a firm believer that the issue should be taken to the person you are having the problem with first and foremost---not to the world. But I felt compelled to speak to my readers on the subject of our spouses, because often, they are just The Other (as I wrote about in a recent article), the ones who get moved to the proverbial back burner while we deal with everything and everyone else in life.

My husband and I, for the first time since we had our daughter, went "out of town" (just across the river, but still...) for twenty-four hours without our child. And guess what? It went great!

Saturday afternoon around 3:30, we dropped our daughter off at our friends' house. They have three lovely children who adore our daughter and would make great company. The kids were so cute, arguing over whose room E got to sleep in.

We headed to our hotel to drop off our things and get dressed (in something other than a t-shirt and shorts) for dinner at a fabulous little Italian restaurant. Despite the fancy environment and food prices, we enjoyed upscale cheese fries (yum!), pasta, pizza, and white wine.

Our next stop was Dave and Buster's where we played games and had fun competing against one another. As we raced horses (you know, the game where you roll balls into different holes to make your horse go faster or slower---depending on how skilled you are), a man said to my husband, "Your girlfriend is beating you." We smiled. This guy had no idea that we've been married for seven years and have a toddler. We then cashed in some of our tickets for "prizes"---all, of course, for our daughter: a toy car, a pair of fake purple-rimmed glasses (so cute!), and a stuffed bunny that sniffs by bunching up its nose and hops.

Our evening at the hotel was relaxing. We had a fabulous view of the airport from a fifth story window. The great thing about nice hotels is that the windows are often floor-to-ceiling and aren't covered in air conditioner condensation. A storm rolled in. Watching the rain was so peaceful. My husband was going to get ice cream for us, but instead, due to the storm, he went to the hotel cafe and got us Haagan Daas---cookie dough and another flavor, white chocolate raspberry truffle. Sinfully good. We read, we watched a movie, we chilled in a king bed (which we don't prefer since we can't find each other in it at night). The rest is none of your business. ;)

The next morning we got up at 9 a.m. and had breakfast by the outdoor pool, reading, sunning ourselves, and people-watching. Then we headed to Whole Foods and selected items from their bakery and buffet for lunch. I got a biscuit with white gravy, organic veggies, some apple dessert that had a bazillion carbs in it, and a few other things. We sat by the windows and people watched again.

Then we went to The Container Store for the first time ever. I love organization! We picked up an over-the-top-of-the-door shoe organizer in clearance which had me giddy. Finally---no more shoes to trip over as we enter the house from the garage! Yeah, I'm weird about my organizing.

Lastly, we stopped at Trader Joe's to get groceries. TJ's is one of our favorite places. There's always something new to try. Plus the employees are so interesting and diverse---yep, more people watching.

We had time to drop our luggage and groceries off at home before going to pick up our daughter. We arrived to find her happy to see us and not at all traumatized by our absence.

It's amazing what 24 hours can do for a couple and us as individuals. Even though we were only thirty minutes from home, we felt like we were worlds away. It was almost as if we were in our pre-baby days---going from here to there when we felt like it.

It's so easy to forget about the needs and feelings of The Other when there's a child or children involved. Having taken steps to get away for just one day has motivated us to carve out more moments for one another, including a couple devotional time (which we've done off and on, but are hoping to stay "on" this time) and more date nights (one is planned for this week!). I'm getting things on the calendar---because I know if the couple isn't strong, the whole family will fall apart somehow, someday, and I don't want that to be us.

I hope somewhere you find the inspiration to give your marriage the attention that it deserves. It's constant work, but I believe it's worth it.

Inspiration: Book Review

2010-08-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

I have been lusting after Jane Brocket's book The Gentle Art of Domesticity for months; however, the $35.00 price tag was just too steep. I attempted to order it from the library with no success.

Recently I was browsing Barnes and Noble's website for adoption books and decided to search for Jane's book. And yes, it appeared, as lovely as I remembered it, and the best part was it was in the Bargain Book section for $9.98! (It's now $5.99 if you'd like to order a copy).

For your enjoyment, here are a few quotes from Jane's book:

"We can walk through life without seeing, without taking in the details, the words, the colors, the pictures, and miss the whole point of inspiration. Or, we can adopt an approach that allows us to top a while and look and listen and reflect and enjoy. We can learn to sift through the mass of stimuli we encounter every day and to focus on what inspires us as individuals and, in doing so, create a way of seeing, a way of being receptive to inspiration." (16)

"It's so easy to lose touch. [. . .] It is quite possible to pass whole days without making contact with any natural surfaces and textures. We can exist in a bubble of emptiness and not even recognize that we are suffering sensory deprivation." (70)

"There really is no secret to running a stitch or cake baking or bulb planting. We all have the ability to do these things, it's just that some people don't believe they can. They have lost the gentle art of self-reliance, and lack of practice erodes this further." (123)

Jane also lists her top seven comforts (including Birkenstocks and friends/Friends--the t.v. show). So for fun, I'm going to list mine, and I hope you'll take time to reflect and think of yours:

1: Tea---herbal, sugar-free, no caffeine. I like it iced in the summer, hot in the winter.

2: Bread and Butter. And I mean good bread---toasty, with real, organic butter. Yum!

3: Books. Especially the ones I've read twenty times but go back to again and again for laughter, tears, comfort, and joy.

4: Music. Particularly, an old, familiar song that reveals itself in new ways every time I hear it.

5: Children. I love their innocence, their sweet smell, their loving hugs and kisses, their honesty.

6: Swimming. Well, more like floating. Nothing is better on a hot, summer day than a dip in the pool. It's liberating. It's invigorating. It's divine!

7: The Office. The TV show, not the actual office I work in. This show makes me smile every single time I see it. It also has the best one-liners.....ever.

Also included in Jane's book: recipes, vibrant and detailed photographs, movie suggestions, thought-provoking paragraphs, paintings, poems, and so much more.

LOVE love love this book!

Projects, Projects, Projects

2010-08-05T20:05:00.000-07:00

Beaded bracelets

Hair bow holder and various bows

I started this blog to document my "dabbling." I have long been a project girl---tackling a new craft with vigor and enthusiasm and then moving on to something else.

I've made beaded bracelets with my friend and sold them at a market. However, I hardly made any money, I had tons of leftover bracelets, and I ended up donating them.

I've made hair bows for my daughter after discovering how easy they are to make and how much money I can save by NOT purchasing so many items off Etsy. But Gymboree lures me time and time again to purchase their exact matching ensembles, complete with korker bows.

I made two hairbow holders. They are cute, but we only need one.

I've cross-stitched a few things: a hand towel for my then-boyfriend-now-husband (I know, why would a guy want a hand towel with a fern and initials on it? But I was so proud of it!), and a darling bluebird picture for my mom (in just a month, without help, by myself. It was quite an accomplishment!).

I then wanted to make "vintage" aprons. My mother-in-law bought me patterns "For Dummies" (literally), which turned out to be much more complicated than either of us anticipated, but I got one made, and then retired from that craft.

I wanted to learn how to paint, and I had one lesson with a friend. Sketching the cinnamon rolls was much harder than I anticipated. I guess I thought I'd be an instant Picasso. I was determined, on my first try and in about a few hours, to create a lovely piece for my dining area. Never happened.

I crocheted a few daisies with my mom for a bed covering she was making. I didn't get into it.

I recently had a sewing lesson to make my daughter pillowcase dresses. I proudly produced one (with a lot of help). The other two fabrics I chose are sitting on the shelf in my closet. I'm not sure I have the patience or the attention to detail to continue. (Though I do enjoy drooling over pretty fabrics).

For me, learning something new is exciting and I throw myself into it completely. I buy the materials, print directions or learn from a friend, and get to it. But usually I lose my enthusiasm, mostly because it seems like crafting is work. It becomes a project to tackle, not a hobby to enjoy.

It's my fault, really. I like to accomplish, not diddle-dawdle, not re-do, not reconsider. And I'm sure I'm screwing up the entire point of crafting....whatever that point is.

I have managed to scrapbook consistently (I'm no pro; however, multi-dimensional stickers sure help!), bake and cook healthfully and organically, journal (aka---blog), and organize (is that a craft or a chore or both?). I enjoy these things, though I tend to, as I do everything in life, rush through them, anticipating tomorrow's project.

I frustrate myself. Why can't I just stop my mind and my body for a few moments, pick up some knitting needles, and work on a scarf? What's my hurry? Why rush?

As with most women, I feel that I have a lot on my plate. I have a limited amount of time each day for me---and I have to decide what to do with that time. I choose between grading student essays, taking a nap, blogging, writing a new article, watching pointless television, preparing dinner, calling a friend, folding towels, reading a book, etc. So a craft becomes another project on my to-do list, and the "art" of it is lost.

I know, I'm just making excuses. The truth is that my lack of commitment to one craft is a symptom of the issue: I need to slow down, chill out, and take life in stride. I can't plan everything, and I can't control much. Now, to live that? That's another story.

Summer Reading: Domestic Fun

2010-08-01T13:51:00.000-07:00

My Pink Sugar Soap from the Farmer's Market

A few books that caught my eye in the past several weeks:

Martha Stewart's Encyclopedia of Crafts

I have zero desire to make my own flowers out of wire and tiny beads or create glittered birds or an acorn napkin ring; however, this book was inspiration and fun to look through. I would love to make my own soap and am hoping to achieve that this summer or fall with my friend Charity. I recently purchased a bar of soap at a Farmer's Market that had sprinkles on top! I may not eat sprinkles, but I love looking at them. This A to Z craft book teaches one how to make candles (so pretty! even candles IN seashells), piece together memory books, gild (not even sure what that is...see index, self), quill, punch tin, etc.

Sweet Gratitude: Bake a Thank-You For the Really Important People In Your Life (Judith Sutton)

I didn't take a single recipe from this book, mostly because I have tons of recipes I still need to try and do not need to add to my collection; however, the illustrations were so endearing. This is like a picture book for adults. Sutton wrote this book based on a time in her life when her cat was ill and needed frequent vet visits, and Sutton, thankful for their help, took the office staff a "cookie of the week" with each visit. Sutton's book not only contains recipes for yummy goodies like brown sugar shortbread, sweet baby lemon scones, and ginger peach upside-down cake, but also tips for how to package and ship baked goods and baking tips (including a basic ingredients list with explanations).

I love discovering a new craft (as long as it's not too expensive or difficult) or finding a "jackpot" recipe that I can make (and hear the "ohs" and "ahs" time and time again) with ease and delight. And when something flops, well, there's always next time!

Summer Reading: Psychology

2010-07-27T13:29:00.000-07:00

I've been at my library a few times a week, all summer long. I love not spending money on books, I love not cluttering up my house with books I'll only read once or twice, and lastly, I love that I'm always reading something new.

Here's what I've been reading and a few of my thoughts on the books:

Bluebird: Women and The New Psychology of Happiness (Ariel Gore)
I didn't read the entire book, since I have so many to read (ahhhh! the life of a never-ending learner!); however, what I did read was refreshing. I'm not usually a fan of self-help type books, because the author always thinks he or she has THE answer. But Gore's writing style is more like, "Here's what I know. Here's what I experienced. What about you?" One suggestion I loved was keeping a journal of all the good things that happen in one's day and watching patterns unfold. (Gore remarks, "What an embarrassingly simple idea.") (I know some families sit around the dinner table, well at least a family I saw in a movie once, and share the best parts of their day with one another). She also says many perceive happy people as "shallow and disconnected" and that happiness is "hokey." But it's simply not true! (At least I don't think so.) Anyway, Gore asks her readers to reflect on questions which I found interesting. Here are a few of them: How heavily do you weigh your own happiness when making life decisions? What could make you happier? What is your fondest memory? What's the best thing that happened yesterday? Are you happier than you were this time last year? One more thing. Being positive and happy gets you somewhere in life, somewhere the vast majority (I think) of people never experience because they choose not to.

The Art of Choosing (Sheena Iyengar)
This book is full of deep questions and scientific studies---all of which are geared toward the debates and questions surrounding a person's ability/power/decision to choose. Going along with Bluebird, Iyengar writes, "We have the ability to create choice by altering our interpretations of the world." Health-wise, when one has a positive outlook and a take-charge attitude, he or she manages the health-crisis/situation better than the person who falls helplessly and wallows in pity. Reading this made me realize why I do so well with diabetes, all things considered. I'm constantly choosing to be positive, to take charge, and to get right back on the horse, time and time and time again. (Again, I didn't read this entire book, but skimming it and choosing chapter and sub-chapters that interested me was beneficial).

What I believe:

Sure, crappy things happen, but what we do with it MATTERS.
Being positive pays off. Put on a smile and say or do something kind for someone else. In doing so, you're doing something good for yourself.
You can't give what you don't have. If you aren't cultivating positivity and happiness in your life, you can't give those things to other people. (And maybe you're initially thinking you don't care what you're not giving away....but think about your spouse, your kids, your co-workers, etc. Don't they deserve your best? Because what you do and say impacts them).
Life is about choosing. You choose your faith, what you'll eat for breakfast, how you'll react to that <#!@* driver who just cut you off on your drive home from work, etc.
Remember, as my mother taught me, that you're in charge of yourself. You determine how your day goes, no matter the circumstances.
A lot of self-help/psychology books are full common sense; however, it's still helpful to see the words in black and white and reflect on them, even if much of what they say is obvious. Reminders are beneficial.

Au Natural...Round IV

2010-07-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

All the products I got rid of

Baby E's products (I got rid of all but one)

New products! Coconut oil (lotion), baby powder (talc free), vinegar (my saving grace), and organic, healthy chapstick

My new oil sprayer from Pampered Chef. No more nasty spray cans!

Once you've gathered and read some resources, it's time to start. A true test of your going-green devotion.

I made a mental list of all the unacceptable ingredients and then gathered up all of our bath, beauty, and cleaning products. I then read each label, one by one. And I purged. A lot. Happily.

A friend gave me a great tip: Take all those old bath and body scrubs that you are no longer going to rub on your body and use them to clean your toilet! I love my Margarita Bath and Body Works scrub, but it's not on my health list, so now my toilet gets to smell like a yummy drink. This makes cleaning the potty a little more bearable. (For a fabulous DIY sugar scrub, see a future post!)

You'll have to decide what you are willing to compromise on. For example, I can give up dryer sheets (they smell WAY too strong which is a good indicator that they are full of cancer causing crap); however, I have to use a deodorant/antiperspirant which contains aluminum (which is possibly linked to Alzheimer's disease). I switched to a more natural toothpaste, I'm moving us to homemade, healthy bar soap over cheap hand soap, and I'm making my own laundry detergent. I haven't given up my aerosol hairspray simply because I rarely use it, and I like it.

It's all about give and take, compromise, and education.

What to do with all the things you want to toss? Well, that depends on the item. You want to dispose of chemicals properly. Recycle containers (of course!). You can pass on some products to those who would use them (though I felt a little guilty doing so).

Here's a few benefits to your going-green project:

Emptier cabinets. Less really is more. I love opening up a cabinet or drawer and NOTHING falls out or collapses.
Better health. Obviously this is the biggest benefit.
You get to buy newer, healthier, better products. (You'll need to research healthy alternatives).
You're better educated and feel good about your project.
You save money. Instead of having one cleaning product per chore (carpet cleaning, dusting, windows, etc.), you have a few cleaning products for everything. Instead of a shower full of products, ours containers two bottles of shampoo and a bar of soap.
You won't be inhaling and rubbing in several different scents. Ewww.

Keep pressing on, creating a happier, healthier home!

Au Natural....Round III

2010-07-19T11:43:00.000-07:00

My tip for today, as you are going green(er), is to find some good resources.

Here are a few to get you started:

Green Mama: The Guilt-Free Guide to Helping You and Your Kids Save the Planet (Tracy Bianchi): A Christian-based going-green book.

Green Guide Families: The Complete Reference for Eco-friendly Parents: This book has it all from statistics, health guides, tips, product suggestions, and much, much more.

I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas (Anna Getty): No, it's not anywhere near Christmas time, but this book is full of beautiful photographs, recipes, craft suggestions, and more.

The Complete Guide to Eco-Friendly House Cleaning (Anne Kocsis): I knew I loved my vinegar, but I'm learning even more from the author on ways to use it. Did you know you can clean your carpet with it? Bye-bye nasty, chemical-laden Resolve!

Organic Housekeeping (Ellen Sandbeck): I did a review of this book last year.

Green House Green Planet (Karen Logan): Full of easy-to-follow recipes and directions.

Gorgeously Green---books, website---by Sophie Uliano: Nothing short of fabulous! This girl has it all and is sharing it with her readers.

I had the privilege of having my own green consultant, my friend and my daughter's nanny, Charity. She's just brimming with green information, so she helped me get started.

Don't be scared! Get out there and start learning!

Au Natural...Round II

2010-07-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

I think first, we need to address WHY we should care about going green.

The answer isn't simple. There are daunting statistics and radical claims---all seemingly unbelievable because they are just so horrifying. They all seem to be scare tactics to motivate those who are scoffing or ignoring the going-green movement. I don't think it's really working. It didn't for me.

What is motivating me to change:

My child. I want her to live a healthful, fulfilling, green-conscious life that stems from respect for the world---including the people, the land, and the resources. The core problem with NOT going green is that the choice is a lack of respect.
My God. Tracey Bianchi, the author of one of my newest favorite books entitled Green Mama: The Guilt-Free Guide to Helping You and Your Kids Save the Planet, shares this Bible verse (Psalm 24:1) in her book: "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it." (pg 11) Read Genesis 1, she argues, the very first verses of the Bible are about creation, nature, and essentially, being green.
My beliefs. My life, I claim, is centered around my faith in God. As Bianchi states, "For those who follow Jesus, sustainable living is particularly gripping because it reminds us that all of humanity is called to compassion, wisdom and stewardship of all forms." (page 23; emphasis mine)
My money. Going green is cheaper in the long run. It helps health care costs go down. It's cheaper than buying tons of overly-packaged items full of non-disposable, non-recyclable stuff.
My time. I don't want to spend any extra minutes sorting through container upon container of cleaning products, selecting the right one for each job, using it, and putting it back. (Vinegar, my friends, can clean just about anything). Additionally, I don't want to constantly be trying to hunt for coupons to save money on these overpriced cleaning products that are seriously just poison. (Don't believe me, read the labels! If it says "do not swallow" or "keep out of reach of children" do you really think it's healthy for anyone?) I don't want to spend an hour in Wal-Mart filling my cart with more and more products that are not healthy for me, my family, or the environment.

I'm worth it and so are you, to make going green changes.

I admit this initial process was very overwhelming. But as I marinate in what I've learned, read new books, and get inspiration from others, I'm finding this to be a joyful process. And no, I'm not hugging trees, wearing hemp sandals, or using a clothesline---though kudos to those who do. I'm still me, just new and improved.

Au Natural...Round I

2010-07-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

Well folks, I never thought this would be me, loving Mother Earth, caring about the ingredients list on my shampoo bottle, and making homemade laundry detergent. But I'm doing it. I'm getting my it-doesn't-matter-and-I-don't-care head out of the proverbial sand.

Last month I was scanning the shelves at the library and picked up four "new arrivals." (I LOVE free book shopping!!!) For evenings on end, I read these titles, flagging them with post-its (NOT eco-friendly, but I do love my post-its...), and taking mental notes.

The more I read, the more overwhelmed and guilt-ridden I became. These green folks are die-hard believers in how they live. Their green ways were wearing on me. Their ideas were inspiring. Their reasons were convincing.

It's time to change.

My dad has had several awesome jobs in his lifetime so far, including being a disc jockey for 20 years. He also teaches Dale Carnegie classes (which helped me immensely in speech classes where I always had the best delivery because I had an awesome, professional coach!). From my dad's years of teaching the DC classes, he taught me that change is good. A very simple message. Digest it:

Change
is
good.

When we grow complacent and stagnant in our lives, we cease to live. How depressing, uninspiring, and lifeless is that?

It's easy for any person to put off change. We're too busy. We don't have the money. We aren't motivated. We have too many other way more important things to do.

Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.

The truth is that the age-old argument of how we need to start taking care of our planet for future generations is true. And I don't mean we should all fix what we can now, in a big hurry, in an attempt to feel-good and hope our kids' kids can have clean drinking water and breathable air.

For me, it's about self-learning and then teaching and modeling for my daughter. Because we aren't going to fix this big, bad, eco-mess by ourselves. It's going to be a process. A one-step at a time, one change at time, one moment at a time, process.

My main motivation is my own health. I am beginning to understand (as I continue through my fourth year as a type I diabetic) that health is so much more than food and insulin and exercise. I mean what the heck am I rubbing into my body everyday when I apply lotion? What am I brushing my teeth with? What products am I spraying on to my daughter's hair? What am I washing our clothes in?

These things matter. And I'm tired of pretending they do not, that I don't have time to change, or that it's someone else's problem.

In my coming posts, I'll share with you what I've learned and what I've been doing.

My goal is that you find conviction in what you learn to change. "Going green" shouldn't be a fad, readers. It should be a way of living. LIVING.

Change is good.

Toddlerhood

2010-07-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

Toddlerhood is summarized accurately and humorously in Jamie Lee Curtis' book Today I Feel Silly.

LOVE this part:

"Today I am cranky so nothing seems right. I have diarrhea and broke my new kite. Mom dyed her hair orange. My dad shaved his beard. My tooth came in crooked. This family is weird."

Even though this book is not Christian-based, I can see it being a fantastic way to talk to children about life and its ups and downs and the fact that Jesus will meet us right where we are---no matter the kind of mood we are in, what's happened that day, or what is concerning us.

Happy reading!

Fostering Appreciation In Children

2010-06-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

Bunnies happily nibbling in my neighbor's yard

We all are guilty of taking things for granted---either in seasons or overall. My latest read, Green Mama: The Guilt-Free Guide to Helping You and Your Kids Save the Planet, along with my second newest read, Growing Grateful Kids, teaches parents and children about appreciation for what we have. Both books are Christian-themed, and I love how the authors tie reference Bible verses as evidence.

If you, like me, want to foster a grateful and appreciative spirit in your child, I suggest hitting the local library for the following titles:

I Love Bugs (Emma Dodd)

All the World (Liza Garton Scanlon)

Nibbles: A Green Tale (Charlotte Middleton)

The Busy Body Book (Lizzy Rockwell)

Chicken Scratches (George Shannon and Lynn Brunelle)

Pop! The Invention of Bubble Gum (Meghan McCarthy)

These books, if you choose to explore them, are hardcovers and seem most appropriate for elementary school children; however, my daughter (thankfully) is very respectful of books and enjoys hardcovers. They are full of bright pictures and the occasional word she recognizes, so when I read them to her, I often alter the words to fit her vocabulary or recreate the story altogether.

Here's my favorite poem from Chicken Scratches:

WATCH WHAT YOU EAT

A chicken ate a pack of seeds

before she read the label.

Next day she laid a cantaloupe

upon the breakfast table.

My reaction: Eat your heart out, Robert Frost!!!)

For some time, I believed that certain lessons were appropriate when my child reached a particular age or life stage, but I'm realizing that toddler hood is a great time to introduce the theme of appreciation and gratefulness. We pray, and Miss E says, "AMEN!" and grins when we are finished. She listens quietly as we thank God for the things we have and the people we know. Miss E also loves when we use our fingers and pretend they are bumble bees. She likes pointing out body parts, mirroring motions and sounds, and learning new words. One of Miss E's favorite activities is helping us put boxes, jars, and junk mail in the "blue box" (the recycling bin).

Introducing concepts to toddlers is also helpful to parents. We get to practice how we'll approach and introduce new subjects and ideas. And as you know, practice makes perfect.

The library is a goldmine. We can pursue new topics (continuing on our theme of appreciation and gratefulness) daily, without spending a dime.

Have fun exploring, learning, and growing!

Homemade Laundry Detergent

2010-06-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

One of my summer goals was to make my own laundry detergent.

CHECK!

I admit the task seemed daunting. After all, I barely passed chemistry class, and all those glass containers and chemical and goggles and formulas (oh, and that "in case you catch yourself on fire" emergency shower) freaked me out. I'm also terrible at math---well, except at counting grams of carbs and calculating sales at Pottery Barn.

But this surprisingly easy, simple, inexpensive, and quick recipe has me committed to continuing to make my own detergent.

Compliments of Charity---I'm able to pass on this recipe to you, my readers.

Laundry Soap Recipe:

Directions to Use: 1/2 c per load (regular washers; for HE ones try 1/4 c)

Ingredients:

3 pints water

1/3 bar soap (I used Dove White) grated

1/2 c washing soda

1/2 c Borax

2 gal bucket (and old kitty little container works great---well cleaned out, of course!)

1 qt hot water

Directions to Make:

Mix grated soap in saucepan in 3 pints water on low until dissolved.

Stir in washing soda & borax until thickened. Remove from heat.

Add 1 quart hot water to 2 gal bucket and then add soap mixture & mix (shake) well. Fill bucket with hot water and mix well.

Set aside for 24 hours or until mixture thickens.

---

The cost of the entire project: $18 (it would have been $8 but I didn't own a grater). I have A LOT of Borax and Washing Soda leftover, plus 2/3 of a bar of soap with more in the house. And the kitty liter container holds much more than the 60 load Tide concentrate container I was using, not to mention, for $8, I'm going to get several (my guess? 10 or more) containers full of detergent. The cost savings is amazing, and the time is well spent (and really, it took me less than 15 minutes).

---

You might be wondering, does it really work? Yep. My laundry is clean.

----

You might be wondering why the heck anyone would care to make her own laundry detergent? Well, if the cost isn't motivating enough, check out this article on all the harmful chemicals in detergents.

As the article states, and as I've read in many sources, cleaning products are highly unregulated and often do not list all the ingredients. When you make your own cleaning products, you get to decide what's going to be on your laundry and thus, on your skin, and thus, get absorbed into your body.

Powerful scents in laundry detergents disguise the chemical smells AND trick us into believing our clothes are clean and safe. If something smells natural, like scents typically used in detergents like lemon or lavender, we believe in the product. If it says "natural" on the label, we pat ourselves on the back for buying it. But "natural" really doesn't mean anything. You have to know your ingredients and read the fine print. And even if you do, as stated in the previous paragraph, all ingredients may not be listed.

---

Going green is confusing, but I'm learning and changing. That's what matters!

Fit for a Princess

2010-06-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

Princess toes! Glitter galore!

Me in my queen wear in front of my mantle covered in my Sleeping Beauty collection from childhood.

Princess E giving her doll some love before the party.

Mural

Recently, my husband went to the INDY 500 with a group of men from church---which was the perfect opportunity for me to host another fabulous party.

Here's the invite:

You are summoned to a
* Princess Pajama Party*

When: Friday, May 28, 2010 from 5:30-8:30 p.m. (Open house style---come and leave as you please!)

Where: Queen Rachel and Princess E’s house
(address)

What: So much royal fun! We’ll have The Princess and The Frog playing, eat lots of yummy treats, make our own royal bath salts, and more. Pajamas or comfy clothes are required! Tiaras and tutus are optional but appreciated! Please bring your favorite snack food dish to share among the queendom.

Who: Ladies, Moms, and Young Daughters. If you’d like to bring a guest, please call and see if there’s available space. Princes, Dragons, and Evil Witches are banished.

Please RSVP to Queen Rachel by May 21st

We had a fabulous time! We ate our potluck style snacky-dinner, and then headed outside (a fabulous day---the only day with a break from the Midwest heat) where Charity lead us in princess yoga (including waving to our kingdom and twirling and placing invisible tiaras on our heads). Next we made homemade bath salts in the backyard, which the older little girls loved. (The neighbors must have wondered what the heck was going on---were we doing weird cult gestures and then making some sort of drugs?) The babies colored a beautiful mural. In the living room we had The Princess and the Frog playing.

Ahhhhh!

The event was a success!

-----

If you want to make your own homemade bath salts, follow this cheap and easy recipe:

Ingredients:

baking soda (skin softener; keeps salts from clumping)

vanilla extract (for scent)

food coloring (for color)

Epsom salts

small glass jars (baby food jars, jelly jars, etc.)

Directions:

Mix desired amount of salts with food coloring and vanilla extract.

Place a spoonful or two of the salts in a jar.

Layer with a sprinkling of baking soda).
Continue layers until jar is full.

When ready to bathe, pour entire contents of baby food jar (or half or less from a larger jar, like a jelly jar) into running water. Enjoy!

~Thanks to Charity, yoga queen and blogger, for her fabulous yoga lesson and bath salts recipe!~

----

Entertaining isn't as complicated as one might think! If you are just getting started hosting your own parties, check out what's on my nightstand: Emily Post's Great Get Togethers: Casual Gatherings and Elegant Parties At Home (by Anna Post and Lizzie Post). This book has it all from recipes, to decor suggestions, to handling an intoxicated guest (and other guest issues), invitations, showers, thank you notes, creating traditions, how long a kid's birthday party should last, party favors, catering, gift opening, and much much more!

Crafty Idea

2010-06-16T12:16:00.000-07:00

I saw this bench at the Memphis Children's Museum and thought about how brilliant and beautiful this is.

I'm trying to figure out how I can make stepping stones out of odd-and-end items from my house.

Since my daughter, proudly, has never had a "Happy Meal" (which ironically is called "happy" even though it's full of nasty nastiness), I don't have $1 toys around the house, but I do have buttons, stones, and other bits of pretty things.

If you have a "recipe" for making garden stones, will you share it with me? Thanks!

Prayer

2010-06-12T06:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not patient enough for prayer. Not REAL prayer--or the way pastors have told me real prayer is supposed to be. Real prayer should be give and take. It should involve listening, silence, focus.

Sure.

There's also THE prayer in the Bible. Christian or not, you've heard it. "Our Father, who art in heaven...."

I pray throughout the day---when an ambulance rushes by, I pray for the person who is in a state of emergency. When I catch a glimpse of a story on the news about a missing child or a young wife who has lost her soldier husband in the war. I pray when I hear the news of a newly diagnosed person, for someone I know is enduring a great burden, or for a friend who is struggling.

But I found that these fleeting prayers weren't connecting me with God. Seemingly I was just ordering up what I thought was best for another person (as if God doesn't know), and then carrying on with my day.

In comes the index card. Yep, you know me, friends. A list-maker.

I made an organized list of my prayer requests on a 4 x 6 index card and placed it in my Bible, so after my every-0ther-day Bible reading, I pull out the list and pray for each person on it by name and by need.

Recently I had the opportunity to speak with my friend Jenni on the phone. I was struggling with what I could do for a woman in our lives who was facing a lot of tribulation. Because this person lives several hours away, I felt helpless in providing practical, every day help. Jenni suggested that I pray for her, seriously pray for her, every day, and tell this woman I was doing so. Jenni remarked that many people whisper a rushed, "I'll pray for you" to someone simply to get out of the situation or to make the other person feel better---but the commitment is often empty. We might pray once, maybe twice, and then move on to other things.

Do I believe prayer works? Well, I believe that one, prayer serves as a communication avenue between us and God. Even though we are often praying for others, the time of prayer gives us something, too. And it glorifies God---the act of prayer demonstrates that we, as humans, know that there are many things out of our power and control, but God is great, and God is good, and He can do anything.

Prayer also helps us take the focus off of ourselves. In an "all about me" world (think Facebook, texting, Twitter, and more, as just one example of the way we make life about us), we are programming ourselves to think of others second. We forget that we are commanded to first love the Lord, and second, love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Now, I do believe we cannot give that which we do not have---so we must put time and energy into our own lives (keep our ducks in a row), but we have to figure out why we are doing that. Are we doing it just so we are happy and feel better? Or are we doing it for ourselves so we can do great things for others?

I'm no prayer expert. I've never read a book on how to pray. Honestly, I find that concept a little silly. I want to go to God as I am and let Him change me instead of reading a trendy book that tells me exactly how I MUST come before my Father. No doubt these books have helped many, and if they enhance a person's prayer life, great. But for me, I've spent too much time in the past reading about HOW to have a relationship with God instead of just HAVING a relationship with God.

So my 4 x 6 card lists people I know who have specific needs. I grouped people together by family or by need, and then I pray for that person and their specific need. I pray for healthy pregnancies, I pray for those who don't know God, I pray for those (like me) with chronic diseases, I pray for our family members, I pray for my husband and my daughter, I pray for our future child, I pray for our adoption agency, I pray for people who have lost their jobs, and yep, I sure do pray for myself. I pray that I will be a wise parent, a good wife, a wise teacher, a careful person with diabetes, etc.

I'm not a perfect pray-er. Whatever that might mean. Oftentimes I am rushed, utter names and needs before God, and move on, expecting Him to work His holy magic and bestow blessings. Sometimes I feel automated. But the point is that even though it's not perfect, I do pray, and I try to do so with purpose and dedication. There are so many needs---and so many negative forces in our world that beat down on people constantly. I want to be someone who says, "I'll pray for you," and then I do it. Because we all need God's grace. And we all need someone committed to us and our needs.

I hope you'll find a way to incorporate prayer into your daily life. It's fantastic to know that truly, when we bow or heads, or get on our knees, or for me, sit at the kitchen table, we are in God's holy presence, holding His divine attention.

RING RING, or CHIRP CHIRP, or BRRRRRRRIIIINNGGGGGGGG (My Cell Phone Rules)

2010-06-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

I love having a cell phone. I got my first phone as a senior in high school, back when personal cell phones were emerging as the new IT thing. I haven't gone without once since; it's been ten years.

Over the course of my decade with a cell, I've developed a few rules for myself:

I do not use my phone when I have someone next to me who deserves my attention. That person may be a cashier, the bank teller, my neighbor, my spouse, whomever. My phone call is never a dire emergency conversation that can be deferred for a few moments while I finish speaking to the person who is standing right in front of me.
I don't use my phone in public places when I'm trying to accomplish something (grocery shopping) or when I'm in close proximity to other people who do not care to know my personal business (in a restaurant, in a library, etc.).
I don't use my cell phone at the gym. I'm there to GET AWAY from everything, not incorporate it into my ME time.
I've learned to ignore my phone if I'm too busy to answer it. In our current culture, we are far too reachable at any moment.
I've learned to ignore my phone if I simply do not care to speak to someone at the moment. Sometimes I choose to give priority to myself (ahhhh---down time), my daughter, my spouse, or something or someone else. Leave me a voicemail. I'll probably call you back.
I've learned that it's ok to ignore the person who calls my cell and then, when I don't pick up, calls my home phone. Again, if it's that important, leave me a message. I'll call you back.
I do not use my phone while I am driving. Period. I gave this up in late February of this year, and I have successfully NOT made a single phone call or sent a text (which is illegal in my state anyway) since I committed to not doing so. The recent "No Phone Zone" campaign on Oprah's show had me stunned. DID YOU KNOW THAT TEXTING OR TALKING ON A CELL PHONE WHILE DRIVING IS THE EQUIVALENT OF DRIVING DRUNK? Well, now that you know (gotcha!), I dare you to pick up the phone and drive "drunk," putting your life and others' lives at risk. One of Oprah's guests made two excellent points. 1: Your car is there to get you from point A to point B. It is not a phone booth. 2: What phone call is worth more than a person's life? EVERYONE is well aware that driving while talking or texting is distracting. Do not pretend you are good enough to drive safely while talking or texting while driving. Your brain and body isn't wired to do so many things at once.

I have been tempted, many times, to go against my own rules. However, I know that the number one priority for all cell phone users should be safety. And I know that using my phone in some of the circumstances listed would compromise my safety, my husband's safety, my child's safety, and/or the safety of those around me.

And when safety is not an issue, sanity is.

I hope you'll find a way to balance your cell phone usage with what is really important in life, including life itself.

Inspiration Revamped

2010-06-03T18:45:00.000-07:00

Before....the quote in Miss E's nursery, above her crib.

After. I used an iron decorative piece I have hanging in my living room as a stencil to draw the scrolls (in pencil) on the wall. I then traced over it with a twig-colored paint. I painted over the black lettering with white (which I already had from our trim and ceilings). Finally, I added yellow and green dots (which I already had from previous painting projects) and a bird decal (which I got for free---woo hoo---when I ordered my basement wall quote off Etsy).

I love short, easy projects that make a BIG difference.

Change is good, my friends.

Paint + Me

2010-05-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

My samples. I was choosing between three very different colors.

Before.

After. (We changed the curtains from green to white recently, FYI).

I've had a longstanding hate-hate relationship with paint. As much as I want to be, I'm not the most artistic person, and I'm terrible at choosing paint colors. For one, I'm scared to take risks---so my house is quite neutral, full of safe colors like light-ish shades of blue, green, and beige. The boldest color I ever went with was a cheery red in our guest bathroom, which my friends dubbed the "sexy red bathroom." That's me though, Mrs. Play It Safe.

Anyway, our house's interior walls are textured, and thus, they are quite difficult to paint. They take multiple coats, and even then, small dots of the old color show through. Painting these walls is a frustrating and time-consuming process, one that neither my husband or me have the patience to do ourselves. The last time we painted a room was the day we got THE phone call (adoption); and this was probably the only pleasurable painting experience I had in this home, or ever.

Besides despising the task of painting and my lack of decisiveness, I am simply too busy occupying a toddler which leaves little time and energy for any major home project. So we decided to hire painters. BIG SIGH OF RELIEF.

The result was lovely! After having Georgetown White (which is more of a sort of whitish greenish NASTY color) in our bedroom for years, a color I woke up to and fell asleep to, hating it every moment, I finally was rewarded with the sight of serene, cool, calm walls---the color I've always wanted---a gray-blue. We had our bedroom, bathroom, and walk-in closet all painted the same color for reselling purposes as well as consistency.

Here are some tips, taken from various sources, on how to choose a paint color:

Buy samples and paint them on poster board pieces. Tape these pieces to various walls in the room you wish to paint. Look at them during different times of the day to see how the light impacts the color.
Look at samples and swatches at eye level, which is how you will see the paint in a room. Putting the samples up too high or down too low changes how you see them.
Look on the back of paint swatches to see if there are complimentary color suggestions.
Go one shade lighter if in doubt, because paint appears darker on the wall.
The darker the color, the smaller your room will look.
When choosing paint colors, first analyze the purpose of the room you are painting. A bedroom (soothing), an office (inspirational but also calming), a play space (cheerful), a kitchen (happy---the heart of a home), etc.
Look in your closet---what colors do you like?
Look at your house, and choose colors that flow together room for room. Keep in mind that if you plan to sell in the future, you want colors that won't turn off buyers. Even though paint is easy to change, first impressions matter.
Consider painting an accent wall.
Consider where you want to start. I suggest going with the bedding (or the sofa fabric, or the biggest pattern/piece in the room) and building the room around it---including the paint.
Yes, paint is an easy fix if you aren't happy, but paint isn't THAT inexpensive.

If you're hiring a painter:

Get recommendations and then ask those companies for references.
Negotiate a price and get it in writing.
BEFORE you call painters, have a reasonable but set budget. Decide how much your time and energy is worth vs. paying someone to do the job.

Why we loved hiring a painter:

Saved us time and energy.
They were in and out in three hours, and they did a great job!
We got an excellent price.
Our walls are difficult to paint.

Overall, I'm so happy that I don't have to wake up and fall asleep to walls that didn't do what I wanted them to---they didn't glorify my funiture and bedding, they didn't soothe me, and they didn't please my eye. Now I wake up to beauty---and that's a great way to start the day!

Party: Swap and Savor

2010-05-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

Some of the swapping items

Mingling guests

One of the guest tables

Prizes

Me (my name tag says, "The hostess with the mostest."

I love hosting events. There's the thrill of organizing---creating a menu, a guest list, gathering decor, generating invites.

My latest party idea---a swapping party---came from Better Homes and Gardens magazine. My mom gives me copies of the latest issues once she is finished with them. I love pouring over the pages, turning down corners, and ripping out recipes.

My invite (it's long, but I'm including it in case you want to host a party):

You are invited...

Swap and Savor

What: A swapping party! Bring 4-6 items that you no longer want or use (but are fabulous and in good condition) to place in the swap. (See suggestions on the back of this invitation). You’ll receive 4-6 clothespins to clip onto items you would like to take home. Enjoy snack foods and dessert samples from local lady vendors (including Dove chocolate, drinks, and dips---yum!!!). We’ll also have several drawings for awesome prizes (donated by local businesses), enjoy music, and laugh ‘til we cry. This is a casual event, so dress as you please---whatever makes you feel fabulous and comfortable!

Who: You (and, if you choose, one of your nearest and dearest---a friend or family member---as your guest) + other ladies who want to have a fun Saturday night with friends! (This is a ladies, adult-only event, and unfortunately, we will not be able to provide child care. Daughters or friends ages 16 or older are welcome to come as your guest).

When: Saturday, May 1st. Please arrive between 6:30 and 7 p.m. to register and place your items on the swapping tables. Shopping and snacking begins at 7 p.m. followed by drawings for prizes, great conversation, and item claiming.

Where: ____________Church’s Fellowship Hall (located on the lower level). Please enter through the front doors of the church. The church’s address is: _____________________.

Why: To give your beautiful items a new home (think “spring cleaning”) and to enjoy a free and fun night out with ladies. Unclaimed, leftover items will be donated----so you won’t haul anything home that you don’t want or need.

Please RSVP by April 17th to Rachel (last name) at (email) or (phone #) in order for us to plan for snacks, tables, and prizes. Please let us know if you are bringing a guest.

If you have questions about the event or specific items you’d like to bring, feel free to contact Rachel. If you would like to donate a prize for the event, please call ASAP!

(Page 2)

Item Suggestions:
• Books: cookbooks, coffee table books, crafting books, poetry/literature books, women’s interest books
• Jewelry: bracelets, necklaces, brooches, rings
• Accessories: purses, scarves, gloves
• Linens: napkins, sheet sets, quilts, decorative hand towels, curtains,
• Home décor: pottery, wall art, candles, mirrors, lamps, rugs, frames
• Storage: baskets, large containers, drawer organizers
• Small furniture: end table, plant stand, bookshelf
• Paper: stationary, scrapbooking supplies
• Craft/Art Supplies: Fabric, ribbon, patterns
• Dishes: cake stands, pitchers, glasses, silverware, platters
• Exercise Goods: dvds, hand weights, resistance bands
• Homemade goods: soaps, aprons, lip balms, candles, etc.
• Entertainment: Board games, computer software, contemporary or classic DVDs, music
• Holiday décor: ornaments, wall hangings, wreaths
• Homemade Gift Certificate: for something related to your personal business (free consultation or demonstration or mini-session), for a lesson (cooking, fitness, etc.), for a chore (weeding a garden, for example). Get creative!

Guidelines:
• All items must be in new or like-new condition, meaning they work well, have a clean appearance, and are ready to find a new home.
• Small items should be grouped together such as a set of glasses, a stack of small photo frames, linen napkins, etc. The giver is responsible to bind these items together with ribbon or place them inside a clear bag for viewing.
• Breakable items should be accompanied by some sort of cushioning (tissue paper, bubble wrap, etc.) material so the receiver can safely get the item home.
• Please no stuffed animals, homemade foods, earrings, outdated items (books, music, DVDs, clothing, etc.), clothing (other than “accessories” items listed above), or used bath/body products. Classic and antique items are fine.

So, how did it go?

FAB!

We had about twenty guests (friends and friends of friends), lots of items (including some friendly bidding wars), prizes (who doesn't like free stuff?), vendors (Dove Chocolate and Tastefully Simple), music, conversation, etc.

Here's more of the nitty-gritty details (tips!) in case you wish to plan/host your own party:

Find a free venue. For me, it was my church. For you, it might be your home or someone else's home, a free community room, etc.
Use as many items as you can that you already have. The point of the party is to provide FREE fun for everyone, and that includes yourself. I did purchase clothespins (but they were inexpensive), Sharpies (in clearance at Wal-Mart), name tags (again, in clearance), and a few other things. But overall, I believe I spent less than $25 on the entire event.
Find food vendors who are willing to provide lots of yummy food samples. This means they take care of the food prep, serving, and clean up. The pay off? They might meet some new clients. And if they make any sales, you get to reap the benefits of being the hostess and earning free product.
Get prizes. Nothing lures people in more than FREE goodies. (You might ask how you do this. I typed a form letter explaning the event and stating that I wanted to promote local, female business owners. I accepted prizes and/or coupons. Additionally, I put local vendor business cards on the tables).
Keep is simple; keep it casual; and thus, keep your sanity. :)
Have a co-hostess or willing helper. My friend Charity was mine---and she provided the music, helped gather prizes, invited friends, and so lovingly and nicely stayed to help me clean up.
Be organized BEFORE so that you can enjoy the party. I made a list of reminders for myself and a rough schedule of events that went like this: 1: guests fill out a name tag and put their names on their clothespins, place items in the swap, mingle. 2: introduce swap and vendors, food tasting begins, guests enter drawings, guest shop the swap. 3: draw for prizes, guests claim items, more mingling.
Guests keep the clothespins with their names on them (think lots of chip clips!).
If more than one guest wishes to claim an item, the party hostess will draw one clothes pin from a basket and name the winner of the item.
As stated in the invite, leftover items are donated unless the owner wishes to take unclaimed items home.

I plan to host another Swap and Savor next January after friends and family accumulate a small pile of unwanted/unneeded gifts. As my dad says, "One person's trash is another person's treasure!"

I hope you'll consider hosting your own party soon. In this economy, it's nice for guests to attend a free event, local food vendors to generate a list of possible new clients, and for ladies to enjoy a night out together.

The Basement---Finally A Happy Place To Be

2010-05-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

"Dance Your Feet Silly" is the perfect quote for my Tiny Dancer. This "dance corner" is completed with a $5 Wal-Mart mirror and a CD Player.

Bigger toys are perfect for the basement space---riding toys, a duck chair, a baby stroller, and more.

The art table (free!), the princess tent, and the craftsman cottage are all favorites.

The custom shelf.

Our basement is finally evolving into a happy play space for my baby girl (well, and for me, too!). The walls are now a bright yellow, we have various decor danging from the ceiling (via those temporary hooks and some pink ribbon) and on the walls (check out my "Dance Your Feet Silly" art I got off Etsy above the $5 mirror--FAB!), and more.

Also, my dear husband and my awesome dad built a SEVEN foot tall version of the Pottery Barn Kids bookshelf I've been lusting over (which I would never order at $400 NOT including tax or shipping---gulp). It's stunning and sturdy. Plus, it doubles as a bookshelf and dollhouse.

The beauty of this basement play space:

It's downstairs. If we don't feel like vacuuming the carpet or picking up the toys, who cares? Furthermore, when we need a change of scenery (and activity), we head to the basement.

It stays cool, so during the long, hot, Midwest summer days, we have a serene place to play.

It's large. So bring on the play dates! (Our builder put in 9 ft. ceilings---woo hoo!)

It's cheerful. The paint totally transformed the gray walls. The dangling decor is beautiful.

I'm looking forward to adding more ceiling decor (waiting for a Hobby Lobby half-off garden decor sale), another light (it's still dim down there), and more toys (including art supplies!).

For some time, I've been feeling anxious about our home. But after reflecting on how blessed we are with our yard space, our unfinished basement, and our affordable mortgage, I am at peace. While a girl can dream (thinking of that craftsman style home I hope to own one day), the roses smell pretty sweet on THIS side of the fence.

My advice is that if you are feeling cramped in your current home or are simply restless with how things are arranged now, change! If you're feeling uninspired, have a creative friend or a realtor come in and give you suggestions. There's no need to be miserable and dissatisfied while you wait a few months or years until you can move. And you don't have to spend a lot of money (or sometimes any) to create change. Our basement space cost us $200 for carpet, $150 for two coats of paint (including labor), and nothing for decor (I had PayPal payment from my food blog for the quote and the other things we owned or got for free).

Happy changing!

Pitter Patter Sounds My Heart

2010-05-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

Less than one mile from my house is the site of the newest Kohl's in our area.

I was quite annoyed when our good ol' hometown Wal-Mart store closed and was rebuilt several miles away (SUPER style). Having a store so close to my house was convenient---and I'm all about convenience!

And now here it is, a few years later, and the old Wal-Mart store was plowed over, the mess taken away, and new walls put up.

It's opening September 26th---and I can't wait!

Kohl's not only has some fabulous celebrity clothing lines, but their prices cannot be beat. Plus, I love walking into a single store where I can find anything and everything (a baby gift, a wedding gift, a birthday present, cards, home decor, clothes) at reasonable prices and a great selection. Going to the mall always takes the energy out of me. Perhaps it's the either too dim or too overstimulating lighting, the noise, the rude customers (who almost never hold open the door for me and the huge, bulky stroller I'm pushing), etc. I always feel like I have to rush at the mall. But in a Kohl's store, especially on a weekday, a person can take a leisurely stroll, carefully selecting merchandise (which is ALWAYS on sale, and there's almost always a coupon). Kohl's has some of the best clearance----often at 70%-90% off.

I love a good sale!

I Did It

2010-05-05T12:08:00.000-07:00

Bob and Chumley swimming about

I do not like animals---in general. I think they are hairy, smelly, and honestly, a little intimidating. And I'm allergic. And I don't like to clean up their little (or big) potty messes.

At one point, I really wanted a Shih Tzu dog. I find them adorable. While living in our townhouse, I discovered that our neighbors had a Shih Tzu that they hardly kept a close eye on. If I stuck my head out the front door and called her name (Maggie), she'd come running to me and I could get my doggie fix.

Then I held one---and my lungs felt as if they were closing up. My arms broke out in a rash. My eyes watered.

Bye bye, doggie dreams.

Some people have said to me, "Just get allergy shots." First, I have diabetes. Don't you think I use enough needles already? Second of all, I don't believe in pumping oneself full of drugs in order to "cover up" something the body is trying to tell me---that animals and I do not mix.

I think looking at animals is fun (like at the zoo or the pet store), and I don't mind the occasional encounter with one at a friend's house. However, I have ZERO desire to have a pet in my home.

But, Miss E is scared of animals. And I don't want her to be this way. Though we might never own hairy pet, I don't want my daughter clinging to the nearest person while visiting the zoo on a class field trip. I also want her to experience animals and learn about them.

Miss E is not only scared of dogs and cats, but she is scared of the tiny fish that swim around in their aquarium at the local library.

So I did it. I decided that our "family" would expand.

Meet Chumley, Lucy, and Bob. Our goldfish. They are each very different in appearance (Chumley is large, Lucy is spotted, and Bob is tri-colored)---and we had fun picking out their names.

Miss E blows them kisses and makes cute fish faces. And, yeah, she's finally waving to our neighbor's dog, and actually touched one of her nanny's dogs about a month ago. Progress!

Goldfish are cheap, easy, and fun to watch. And Miss E is young enough that when they go to fishy heaven, she won't have a breakdown.

S P A C E

2010-05-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

Our fabulous weeping willow tree----perfect for shade and imaginative play

Our backyard (which used to be parking lot and after years of hard work, my husband has turned into a lawn!)

The backyard view from the deck

Space is sacred to me, and I realize it more than ever since beginning to house gawk.

As my readers know, I've been on the fence about when we should sell this home and buy another (and when that should happen). I gave into my temptations and looked at a few properties (mostly by just driving by and by viewing virtual tours online). I contacted a local realtor (one who actually returns phone calls promptly and is genuinely a nice woman) who set me up with a personal property search that arrives in my inbox a few times a week. Tempting.

(One of my profs used to refer to house gawking as "house porn"---haha).

The more houses I look at (including...gulp!...the prices), the more I realize how good I have it....right here, right now.

For one, the homes I've looked at sit on small lots. And if the lots aren't small, they are awkward in their shape, or they have a dramatic incline or decline, making it semi-useless space. Many local subdivisions were plopped onto old farming fields, so the lots look like desert land---no trees, no grass. Just dirt. Dry, dusty dirt. Where is the room and ground covering for my children to run and play?

And the houses are built so close together. Where is the privacy both indoors (windows---hello, neighbor!) and outdoors? I believe a home should be one's soft place to land. The noise, traffic, and constantly barking dogs creates the peaceful, "soft" place I'm looking for.

Good lots are hard to come by. And if they are found, they are sold, of course, for top dollar. Or as they say on Wheel of Fortune as the contestant spins the giant wheel, "BIG MONEY BIG MONEY BIG MONEY BIG MONEY."

I'm beginning to see that a buyer can't have it all---great lot, good location, fair price, beautiful interior, and a great floor plan.

To be cliche, something has got to give.

And I don't know if I'm willing to compromise. Not on something this important.

A good house and lot is essential to me. I guess being a "homemaker" (to use the old school term) comes with certain expectations. I want roomy, sunny kitchen. I want an open floor plan where I can have my eyes on the kids while I'm whipping up dinner. I want a grassy, flat, spacious yard. I want four bedrooms, an office space, a large family room, a fireplace, a walkout basement.

But mostly, I don't just want a house. I want a home. And right now, everything I'm seeing is too cramped, too cookie-cutter, too outdated, or simply just not right.

Is a house like a wedding dress? When you see it, you just know?

I grew up on two acres covered with green grass, a vegetable garden, fruit trees, oak trees, a swimming pool, two barns, a shed, a tree house, and the best part: a 100+ year old Victorian farmhouse with original hardwood floors and lots of creaks for character.

So maybe I'm spoiled?

With each house I look at, I am becoming more and more grateful for what I have now and the possibilities of what I can do in the here-and-now.

Greener, Healthier, Better (In Honor of Earth Day...a few days ago)

2010-04-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

If you would have asked me a few years ago how I was "going green," I would have rolled my eyes and taken a sip of water from my disposable, plastic water bottle.

I left the water running when I brushed my teeth. My husband had to recover items from the trash can to place in the "proper" place---the recycle bin. I thought "going green" meant washing out sandwich baggies for a later purpose. Yoga, tree huggers, and dreadlocks---all were not my cup of tea. Save the dolphins, the rain forest, or some rare beetle from Istanbul---blah, blah, blah.

In the past few years, I started caring a little more. It could have been the fact that I love a good project---and recycling seemed to be one I could feasibly do, on a daily basis. Plus, it feels good to chuck yet another item (rinsed out or folded, of course) into the blue container in my garage. I think a major contributing factor was becoming a mom. I recognized the waste that the raising of a child produces. My main motivator I believe is the fact that diabetes changed everything for me. I was forced to look at health and wellness, including how we treat the earth (indicators, I think, of how we treat ourselves), in a whole new way.

I'm all about making small, realistic changes. Those who drastically quit something cold turkey (smoking, eating carbs, etc.) rarely succeed. Instead they do well for a few days, maybe a few weeks, and then smoke or eat more than ever. So I've gradually implemented "going green" into my life.

In celebration of Earth Day (April 22nd), I wanted to reflect on the changes I have made in order to be not only greener, but healthier, too:

I said "so long" to disposable water bottles. I now use a stainless steel, BPA-free container for my water.

I recycle----anything my pickup crew will take.

I use empty boxes and containers as temporary toys for my daughter. She LOVES playing with an empty tea box, for example, because it smells good and she can play with the flaps. Instead of tossing free (and often very ugly) address labels, I let my daughter use them to decorate an empty box or pre-printed envelopes.

I take donating more seriously. I placed a box conveniently in my closet (the place where unnecessary stuff tends to gather). Whenever I discover an item I no longer want or use, I toss it in the box. About once a month, a local children's home crew comes around, picks up the donations from my front porch (how easy is that?), and sells them to fund their charity. (Plus, it's a tax deduction! Keep track of everything you donate by writing a detailed list and taking a photo).

I think twice at the store---do I really need this item? Will I use it in the near future?

I've been purchasing more green products like dish washing detergent, dishing soap, laundry detergent, and cleaning supplies. (FYI: Vinegar ROCKS at cleaning everything from glass to counter tops to bathrooms. I donated my unused, old cleaning products to my parents who own an apartment building).

GASP---I've actually purchased a few used items. I do not like other people's things, generally, because I imagine that they are unclean. However, in the past year, I've recovered a coffee table (that's low and is used as my daughter's art table in the basement), purchased a doll stroller at a yard sale, and bought clothes (Gymboree, of course) from friends for my daughter.

I'm buying more and more produce and less pre-packaged items that aren't as healthy and contain so much packaging (poor Mother Earth!). The items that I do buy that come in packaging are used as toys for my babe---like an empty egg carton (oh what fun!). The different textures, shapes, and move able parts on these packages can make awesome toys for a very curious one-year-old!

I make my own foods (for the most part) including bread, whole meals, and desserts. It's less packaging and healthier.

Reuse gift bags (new-ish ones to give gifts or damaged ones to cart things to someone's house or for donation bags), bows (if they aren't smashed), ribbon, etc. to wrap gifts in.

What I plan to do:

I'm going to attempt to make my own laundry detergent. I know this sounds so archaic, but I have to try it, at least once, to save money.

I've built up a small collection of cloth napkins. (I'm very wasteful with napkins, paper towels, and facial tissues. Seriously. I think it comes from my father who blows his nose constantly. Even when I don't really need to blow my nose, I do). I'm going to attempt to use these cloth napkins at mealtimes instead of the traditional paper napkins. (Tip: Pinch your toilet paper roll so that one cannot use too much toilet paper when yanking a stream of paper from the roll).

I'm going to continue to use "throw away" things as toys for my daughter. I've never been a fan of electronic toys (soooo annoying). Just a few weeks ago I took a diaper box (they're huge), tied a ribbon remnant around the handle cutout, and created a "parade float" for her. She loved sitting in the box while I pulled her around the house.

I will continue to consider buying items second hand.

Purchase reusable grocery bags and use them as gift bags.

Sacred Nap Time

2010-04-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

Nap time is sacred in my house.

I LOVE my daughter---but nap time is when I get a break from her, she gets a break from me, and we both get to recharge.

Around 12:00 or 12:30 every day, I shut E's nursery shades, turn on her ceiling fan, give her a big smooch, and place her in her crib. I leave the room and clean up the lunch dishes while I listen to her (via the monitor) happily talk to herself for a few minutes before she drifts into dreamland.

And then it's MY time.

I might check e-mail or Facebook, work on a new article, type up a blog entry, bake, sun myself in the backyard, read a magazine, catch up on a television show, or make phone calls. Occasionally I use the time to grade student essays or prepare for my next day's classes. But mostly, it's two or so hours of leisure time.

During this time, I often do not answer my home or cell phone. I ignore the requests that demand my focus or divert my attention away from relaxing.

I have long said that taking care of oneself isn't selfish---it is smart. There is nothing lazy about my job as a wife, mom, freelance writer, blogger, and English teacher. I am always working on something. And just because that "something" is usually a task I enjoy does not make me lazy.

To pursue of life of happy passions is a blessing. To have time to read a good book, to connect with others, to enjoy the sunshine---is blissful and dare I say, necessary. I don't see how one can be a great mom and wife (to her fullest potential) without focusing on the inside first. Dr. Phil often says on his show that people cannot give what they do not have. How can women give their best love, support, attention, passion, etc. if she does not use it also and first for herself?

Because I value myself and what I am capable of, I can project those good characteristics onto my family and others around me. Because I know my limits, I can sense when a breakdown might occur, and I can adjust my life accordingly to prevent avoidable issues. Because I know what I'm good at, I can say "no" to the things which do not empower me and in turn, will not benefit others.

Nap time is a break in the middle of the day where I can reflect, relax, reinvent, refresh. And then when it is over, I am a better wife and mother, ready to tackle the rest of my day with energy, purpose, and love.

Find what is sacred to you and hold dear to it. Create moments in your day just for you. And know that if you do not take time now for yourself, you will HAVE to later when you are suffering from a physical, mental, or emotional breakdown. There can be time in the day just for you---but you have to dare to create it, claim it, and not sacrifice it.

Why I Write

2010-04-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

I write mainly because I must. The desire to write is something deep within me that cannot be satisfied with any other desire, thought, or action.

I love how Katie, a young teen, puts it in Elizabeth Berg's book True to Form (167):

When I start a poem, the center of me lifts up---I feel myself floating before I start to put the words down. Sometimes they are good words and sometimes they're not, but always the lift comes to take me to the place that is not really a place, yet feels realer than this ground I lie on.

My very first official book was entitled The Princess and the Gold. The drawings were terrible (my sister has the drawing talent in our family) and the words were misspelled; however, the fact that I knew about plot, character, dialogue, setting etc. was impressive for a six year old child.

My mom taught me to read and write starting around age three. She said she saw it in me, so she went with my tendency to gravitate toward language, books, and creativity.

To put it simply and understandably---I devoured the written word since I could understand it. If I was under my covers with a book and a flashlight, I was writing a poem or reading the cereal box at breakfast or the shampoo bottle while taking a shower. I couldn't get enough.

It's rewarding and fulfilling to take in the written word when I am ready and can receive it at my own pace. A conversation, no the other hand, hardly yields time for reflection and consideration. Words just fly out and what is said is said. A letter, an e-mail, an article, a blog entry---all can be edited many times so it fits the purpose and audience precisely.

What's even more rewarding, at times, is creating something that someone else wants to read, even needs to read, and knowing that something I've experienced and some how managed to form into a cohesive, coherant piece, is touching someone else's life for the better.

I have no doubt my writing career will take me to new places, lead me to new experiences, and show me more about myself than I would have learned otherwise.

What is it that burns in you that you simply must do? Is there a talent, desire, or destination which you have tried to ignore, decline, or procrastinate? Why? And if you are dabbling in your passion, why not take the plunge? This isn't just about you. Your passion lives within you for a greater purpose.

For the Love of Books

2010-04-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

Some of my many grad school textbooks...

Piles, piles, everywhere...

The end result.

I LOVE books.

I know, that is a very English teachery thing to say. I just can't help it. There's something magical and thrilling about books on every flat surface. They inspire, they create mystery, and they infuse joy. When I walk into a bookstore, my heart starts racing, my eyes scan every surface, and I feel myself forgetting that a credit card has to be paid off.

However, books are expensive. Additionally, I have a few favorites I'll re-read or reference once a year, but otherwise they just sit in a pretty row in my office closet---taking up space and harboring dust.

So I took it upon myself to do what has long been necessary, and I cleaned them out. This was no easy task because I was an English major and am an English teacher---so I had a lovely collection of English textbooks (thick and heavy) from five years of college schooling. (Some of which were poems that I adored, short stories that inspired me, and basically, the beginnings of my fabulous career). Additionally, I have my stacks of fiction and non-fiction, including a collection of Nicholas Sparks and Elizabeth Berg novels, adoption books, poetry collections, and much more.

If you are like me and know you need to let go---here's a step-by-step guide:

1: Get them all out and sort them by genre. Health books in one pile, fiction in another (by author if you have favorites), parenting guides in another, religion books in another, etc.

2: Take your favorites from each genre, the books you read again and again, and place them in one pile.

3: Take all the other books and place them into one of three piles: donate to charity, donate to a designated person, or sell. Only create a "sell" pile of you truly intend to go through all the effort of selling individual books. To me, selling books wasn't worth the time and effort.

4: Work your way through all of your piles. Be realistic and determined. Is there really a reason to keep a book that is outdated, unused, or unappreciated? Can someone else use a particular book? Who would that be?

5: Take breaks if you need to, but I suggest plowing through the project as quickly as possible. Do not hesitate too long over a particular title. If you're unsure if you should keep it or get rid of it, get rid of it. If it helps you, enlist a partner who can help you make decisions.

6: After you decide what to keep, place the books back onto your shelves, in whatever order pleases you. I divided my books according to genre. Some prefer alphabetical order (by author or title).

7: Make a plan on how to get books to whomever you choose and when. SET A DEADLINE.

For example, right after I finished sorting, I typed up a list of textbooks and authors and sent an e-mail to my entire department asking if anyone wanted them. I stated that I would take book requests for one week only. (This was very successful. I got rid of about half my old textbooks this way---and they went to appreciative people!). I also put a post-it on individual books that I thought certain people could use. I placed some health and writing related books in a separate pile to distribute this summer when I volunteer (working with diabetes patients). I had a large box handy to place all designated donation books---and I got rid of that box within two weeks to my brother's private high school's library).

8: Resolve to start utilizing your local library. Instead of buying books that you end up not reading for weeks or months (or ever), borrow, read, and return. Let the library be organized for you! Not only will you save money, but you'll have a cleaner, simpler, more organized home. Plus, you'll have deadlines to read books (my library is three weeks) rather than being tempted to purchase books you'll read "some day." (My exception is that I do purchase children's books because library books harbor tons of germs and because she can be a little rough with them).

Libraries are free bookstores. Select as many titles as you want. I often leave with 10-15 books. Not only do I feel free to explore, learn, and discover, but there are all the perks of waving hello to the goldfish, watching my daughter wander through the mazes of possibilities, and being greeted by a fabulous library staff (all of whom seem to LOVE their jobs). Because I like to dabble in many different crafts and am always tackling a new project (preparing to sell our home, making aprons, etc.), the library is the way to go. If a particular book isn't well-written or doesn't suit my needs, I simply return it and find another title. It's National Library Week, by the way.

Another option is to organize a book exchange with friends who have similar interests.

I love books as much as the next person, but I do not see the point of cluttering up my space and harboring precious titles that can benefit others.

Realtors

2010-04-10T18:21:00.000-07:00

Our first experience with one wasn't so good. He showed us a lovely duplex that backed up to woods. The house was in the beginning stages of interior work (paint, flooring, etc.), so the realtor enthusiastically told us we could choose the flooring, the paint colors, etc. We were eager to get out of our townhouse, and the deal sounded sweet---a customized home that would be completed in a matter of weeks. (Now I remember what my dad taught me: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is).

Then the realtor calls us and said he accidentally showed us a home that was already sold. But he had a condo to show us that would be perfect. Yeah, if you call popcorn ceilings, stained linoleum, and 70s style exterior perfect....

When we bought our home in 2005, we went with the realtor who was selling the home. She seemed like a nice woman. She was accommodating, and she threw compliments around like New Year's confetti. Oh, did she make us feel good about ourselves the house we were about to purchase. She promised us a welcome gift after closing. The gift never came. (We still joke about that). I cannot stand when people do not fulfill their promises. (My students know this, as I make it very clear. If you tell me you're going to do something, you'd better do it. On time. Properly.)

Now, five years later, I'm realizing that realtors, at least the few we've talked with, come in "all shapes and sizes"---but one thing holds true for all: they are eager to make money, and they will say and do just about anything to make that happen. Or do they?

Last week we went and looked at a house that appeared to be perfect for us: four bedrooms, four bathrooms, a nice yard, a fireplace, neutral decor, great price, and an amazing location. I met the realtor at the home on a sunny afternoon. She was polite, but she didn't know the answers to most, if all, of our questions. We are experienced home buyers now---and we owe much of that to HGTV's many shows. We know what we do and do not want in our next home. Unlike past realtors we've worked with, this woman didn't shower the home with compliments or suggestions for possibilities (renovations, upgrades, etc). Instead, she just stood to the side and let us look. (I'm one who feeds off of others' positive energy...) When we were ready to leave, she said we could come back that weekend if we wanted to the open house, and then she was gone before we could even get the baby in the car seat.

I guess my persistent personality just doesn't get it. I mean, aren't there basic business rules? Be polite, be positive, be enthusiastic, be encouraging, and be honest. Keep your promises, and always be excited about your job. Know your facts. Follow up. Smile. Know what your clients want and expect. And admit when something isn't just right. Apologize when you screw up and work to remedy the situation quickly. (As a teacher, I do all these things. And I would hope others in all jobs do as well. I mean, if you aren't going to do your job right, why do it at all?)

I guess these disappointing encounters have taught me what to demand from the person we eventually hire to sell our home. I know what questions to ask. And I won't just select the first fake smiling face slapped on a magnet on someone's fridge. I want references. I want to know how busy you are, your reputation, your availability, your confidence, your passion, your experience.

The person we hire will represent us and our home---and I have high expectations. But you know, we're talking about a very expensive asset and more importantly, our lives. I believe a home should be the soft place to land, a place of peace, comfort, and joy. I take my home seriously. And I expect that the realtor we hire will also.

How To Write a Successful Ad

2010-04-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

As I work on project after project, preparing our home for a future sale (and happily getting rid of unwanted/unused items), I ventured into the world of online selling. Specifically, I was selling three dresses and three pairs of dress pants.

I have successfully sold a few items via Craigslist, and in case you are interested in doing the same, here's what worked for me:

1: Take detailed photos OR find an online picture of the item you are selling. (For example, I found the two dresses I was selling on their designer's webpages and linked potential buyers to those pages).

2: List as many details as you can about the product so you don't waste your time or someone else's. For example, the two dresses' ads included the color, length, size, and accessories. State if the item is brand new, gently used, etc.

3: If your home (where the items are stored) is smoke-free and/or pet-free, state that. This tells the seller that the items aren't going to be laden with any smells, hair, potential stains, etc.

4: Be honest about any flaws in the items. If there are any stains, smells, or tears, say so. If the item will need some repair, state that clearly.

5: State what forms of payment you will and won't take. I highly suggest cash only to avoid any bad checks.

6: Make sure your ad is error-free. Nothing screams IDIOT like an ad full of errors.

7: A catchy ad title is a must. But don't get too creative. Cleary state what you are selling and how much you want. (Include if you are flexible on price or "firm.")

8: List the cold, hard facts in an ad instead of filling your ad with empty adjectives. One "beautiful" or "spotless" is enough. Spare your readers the rhetoric and just get to the point.

9: Price. Be very clear if you are/aren't flexible on price. State what you paid for the item and what price you'll take.

10: Make sure your ad gets published and update it/re-list when necessary.

Other tips:

1: Limit when potential buyers can view the products in your home. I don't show an item when I'm home alone unless I'm certain of who is coming over.

2: You can meet in a public location rather than your home.

3: You CAN refuse a sale. Do not feel guilty for not lowering your price if you want the full asking price.

4: But, be willing to negotiate on price if the item is a hard-sell. My dresses, for example, limit buyers because of their size and color. If you REALLY want to sell the item, you'll price it to sell or compromise on your price.

5: Make sure your voicemail or answer machine message is professional enough. Speak clearly. Then return the calls promptly. Do you want to sell or not?

-----

One of my ad examples, if you're interested:

Three dresses, all perfect for prom!

Dress 1: Mori Lee gown, size 9/10, 2 piece (strapless top, floor length skirt with gathers), sash, shoulder wrap, and optional straps. Note: Mori Lee sizes run big. I'm a size 6/8 in usual clothing. See almost identical dress here: http://www.morilee.com/Bridesmaids/Bridesmaids/dressint.php?idves=940&idcat=2&bsel=&npic=4&idscat=5&numPagina=6&npag2=6&imac=37 Dress is a cream color. Dress has been worn once. Price paid: $200. Asking price: $50 for dress and all pieces (sash, shoulder wrap, and straps).

Dress 2: David's Bridal gown, size 8, 1 piece. The dress is strapless with a floor length skirt featuring gathers. Dress includes supportive bra cups (sewn in) but can be removed if desired. Dress comes with a light cream colored sash. Note: David's Bridal gowns run big. I'm usually a size 6/8 and the 8 was a little big on me. See dress here: http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49998974¤tIdx=66&subCategory=-49998976%7c-49998975%7c-49998974&catentryId=6096901&sort= Price paid: $149. Asking price: $40.

Dress 3: The Limited dress, size 4, knee-length, strappy, black with a silvery-black overlay featuring a lace-like design. Price paid: $80. Asking price: $30.

All dresses are free of tears or stains. I live in a smoke-free and pet-free home.

She Came!

2010-04-03T12:04:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, a local realtor visited our home and offered a free evaluation. I had a list of questions for her regarding what we should do to prepare our home for the next buyer.

Suggested upgrades: A ceiling fan on our covered deck (buyers LOVE a ceiling fan, she said), a back splash in the kitchen (instead of $3,000 to $4,000 counter tops), a wreath on the door, some potted flowers on the front porch, and getting one place in our carpet stretched.

We also discussed us finishing the fence in the backyard (which is 2/3 fenced already because of the neighbors). And hooray---that is being done this week!

Wow. Simple.

Our house is only four years old, so it's no surprise to me that little changes need to be made.

I've been doing small projects around our house here and there to prepare it for selling. Even though I don't anticipate us moving this year, I want to be ready when we decide it's time.

The realtor visit was extremely helpful. An outside point of view (as I tell my writing students about their papers) offers a new perspective on something that seems ready.

I'm trying to be happy where I am now. The upgrades, like the fence, are helping me in that. I feel that when we finally get our home where we are happy with it, we'll be ready to move. :) I've ordered books on craftsman style homes from my local library, and I'm weighing the pros and cons of building a home versus buying. We found a neighborhood that sells craftsman style homes; however, the lots are very small. The trip to that neighborhood made me realize how blessed we are to have a large backyard (that will be officially fenced in today) complete with a darling weeping willow tree and green green grass (way to go, husband!).

It's fun to dream, but it's also beneficial to "stop and smell the roses" instead of constantly thinking about how the grass could be greener somewhere else.

"Get It Over With"

2010-03-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful phone conversation with my friend Camille the other day. She and I talked about yard sales, writing (she's working on a novel, I'm writing articles for Diabetes Health), and, one of our favorite topics, motherhood.

Cam and I both struggle at times with the "when" question: When to add another child to our families? Her beautiful son and my daughter are both young, young enough to keep us on our toes. Though we both long for more children, Cam and I both realize we are in a precious place in our lives. We are enjoying life with a husband and just one child----a time we will never again get back once we add another bundle of joy into the mix. We have time now---time to travel, write, take naps, test new recipes, go for walks, eat lunch with girlfriends, snuggle on the couch each night with our spouses.

There are moms all around us who are pregnant and holding the hand another one of their children who has just learned to walk. These women might have one or two other kids dragging behind them or the kids might be in front, in a sit-and-stand stroller. The moms are often exhausted, they eat poorly (lots of refined sugar and caffeine), their minivans are a wreck (indicative of everything else in their lives), and they are yelling at their kids constantly.

Where is the joy?

And why do we hear so many women say, "I had my kids close together so I could get it over with."

Get what over with, you may ask? Some say "diapers." They want to just deal with the whole diaper disaster for just a few short years and move on. (Move on to what? Bed wetting?) Some say their kids need playmates, so why not "get it over with" and have another? (Um, shouldn't we be taking care of our children, not giving an unborn baby a role in life before he or she is even born?). Some women say they want to "get it over with" so they can get back into the "real" and respectable world of working outside the home (as if mothering isn't a crucial position---we raise the babies who become adults).

I find all of these reasons (and the many others) disheartening.

(Some things I do say let's "get it over with." I gynecological exam, for example. Or making the dreaded phone calls to my insurance company. Or talking to that person I cannot stand but know I must speak with).

Maybe it comes from being an adoptive mother and not having a baby upon demand. We officially waited for our daughter for fourteen months, and before that, we discussed the possibility of adopting for a year. The year (12 months) + paperwork and the homestudy (4 months) + waiting (14 months)= 30 months or 2.5 years to have a child.

So with that came a lot of time to prepare, pray, and appreciate the process of becoming parents.

Now before I get a slew of nasty comments, I think some women can have children close in age and do a phenomenal job. Some of these women are my friends, and I admire their abilities to multi-task, have dinner on the table, exercise, serve their churches, love their husbands and babies, and have a good attitude. They are amazing.

But I think many women who are surrounding us all are caught up in having what they want, when they want it, and how they want it. So they have another baby, because, let's get it over with. And then, they get what they ask for----a crazy, exhausting life full of yelling, poor health habits, spiritual vacancy, suffering marriages, etc.

I live a life of careful control, which is the only way one can successfully live with a disease like diabetes. And I admit this control spills over into other areas of my life---such as family planning. Can the need and drive for control backfire? Sure. I'm less likely to go-with-the-flow of life because I'm too busy planning how it WILL go. Being a mommy has changed me some (as it should!). I am much more likely now to "stop and smell the roses." I LOVE being a mom and how every day is an adventure.

However, because of my child care experiences (babysitter, the pre-k church teacher, then VBS leader, then day care worker, then nanny, then kids' program director)---I GET IT. Kids are a TON of work, and I believe they deserve our VERY best.

And even more so, I'm a firm believer in a happy woman = a good mother, a good wife, and overall, a good LIFE. Why are so many women putting off their own happiness? The lack of fulfillment and enjoyment in one's life DOES trickle down onto those around you. What lessons are we, as women, teaching our children when we postpone our desires for "someday"?

My vote is to relish in life's moments instead of trying to rush into and then push past things that do not fulfill any of us. There's too much at stake to just get certain things "over with." And in the case of this topic, women are making choices that risk their own health (mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional), the security and joy of their marriages, and the well being of their children---all for reasons that lack in any sort of reasoning.

Wherever you are in your life, whether you have a mini van full of kids, just have one, are expecting, or are thinking about not having children----may you find a place in your life where you are positively touching all those around you and doing things that nourish your own soul.

Take Chances

2010-03-26T20:43:00.000-07:00

Before---in my sexy hair-coloring shirt

After

Recently I decided to self-highlight my hair---a little dark ash blond to compliment by trip to the beach.

If you are going to take a chance, go for it! Being too cautious isn't real change.

I'm the only person who can tell I have highlights---and I had to look REALLY hard to see them.

Lesson learned.

Summer Is Fast Approaching

2010-03-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

As a teacher, I get to enjoy summers off. It's my reward for grading 240+ essays over the school year (2 semesters), dealing with challenging students, going to work when I didn't feel like it (think high blood sugar, needy baby, or a really rainy day), explaining AGAIN why a thesis statement is important, etc. Summer means my life doesn't revolve around my class meeting, grading sessions, or office hours.

But with summer comes some anxiousness and anxiety for me. You see, I really enjoy my job. I love conversing with students, talking with the teaching assistants, and brainstorming with colleagues. So when all that dies down, there's just me and my baby girl. For three and half months.

Last summer we enjoyed a few family vacations which broke up the long months; however, most of our time was spent in an everyday routine: go to the gym, do a few chores, and sit outside in our blow up pool. It was easy, simple, and yes, sometimes boring. I was happy to head back to work last fall, especially since I had been off work for eight months with our new daughter.

So this summer, I have some old plans (blow up pool, gym, chores) and some new ones:

Get the house organized/cleaned out/ready to go on the market. The realtor gave us good advice: start getting ready now. So I'll be working on the basement (not too bad, really), the closets, the cabinets. I look forward to purging----one of my favorite activities! The good thing is that my daughter plays well independently, so I can tackle a project and Miss E enjoys playing with the boxes or whatever else I'm getting rid of.
Learn to make pillowcase dresses. Brilliant things, they are! They are simple, adorable, and can be used as shirts when the dresses get too short. Check out my friend's Etsy shop for examples of pillowcase dresses.
Make the basement play space more inviting. I want to find a cheap, cozy chair for myself (reading time!), get the walls painted (a sunny yellow!), and put up wall decor including wall stickers and a series of long mirrors for a "dancing center" for Miss E.
Volunteer. I'm hopefully moving forward with a position at my local hospital where I will meet with diabetes patients and work with them on specific lifestyle goals to improve their lives. How awesome is this?
Learn more about vegetarian cooking.
Read, read, read. Magazines, cereal boxes, short stories, blogs. You name it, I want to consume it. Good readers can make better writers (as I tell my students). Stay on track reading the New Testament (1 chapter a day).
Continue to freelance for Diabetes Health and other publications.
Potty train Miss E. She's really young, but she seems ready.
Get more involved----play dates, groups (my adoptive mamas group, church groups, etc.)---and connect with other women/moms.
Date nights with my spouse. We are trying now, but I think this summer's freedom will allow us more time.

My number one goal: ENJOY the quiet, serene moments of being a mommy of just one child. I had the realization the other day that these are times I will never get back. Once another child comes along, we'll always be a family of four, never three again, and these moments I have now are precious times.

I hope you find time to do what you love this summer, whether you are off work or not. Carve out moments for yourself. Nurture the woman you are, grow into who you want to become, and top everything in life with a cherry.

A Real Jewel

2010-03-19T18:22:00.000-07:00

Recently my husband, daughter, and I took advantage of my Spring Break (woo hoo---a whole 11 days off work) and headed to Gulf Shores, AL to stay with my aunt and uncle (snowbirds rock!) in their condo on the beach.

One evening we drove to The Wharf in Orange Beach, AL for dinner. Before dining, we toured the shops.

That's where I found IT: Michelle's Beach House.

The store was floor to ceiling white. And not stark white, but some shade of inviting, warm yet elegant, antique yet modern white. The floors were large walking stones (white, of course) with smaller, white, glittery stones in between. I had to circle the store three times to see everything, but it was only to appreciate the merchandise (which looked more like artifacts in a museum, not a store), for the store wasn't cluttered, but cozily full. The merchandise consisted of soaps, baby items, decorations, mirrors, frames, art, lamps, night gowns, and so much more. There were treasures everywhere. I couldn't quit gushing and staring at everything in sheer awe.

The store owner heartily agreed to let me feature her on my blog and take a few photos to share with you all.

If I could own a store, it would be one just like Michelle's---classy, cozy, detailed, simple, elegant, decadent, and welcoming. And floor-to-ceiling white. It was seriously like an oasis in her store. I felt my insides melting.

I promised Michelle I would let her know when I put this post up. Michelle, if you are reading this, thank you for your lovely store. I look forward to visiting you next year.

Toys, Toys, Everywhere

2010-03-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

First, I cannot take credit for this idea. An online friend told me that this is how she sorts her children's toys.

Back story: We have one main living space in our home: the living room. Though we've slowly been converting one section of our basement into a play area, it's not where we spend the majority of our time. So having only one main living space means our living room functions as our place to play, lounge, and entertain. Furthermore, it's the room that guests walk directly into when they walk in our front door. It's important to me that the room be tidy, functional, and versatile.

As my daughter is getting older (now 16 months), she's being blessed with more and more toys and books. Friends and relatives love to constantly shower her with gifts. And, as any parent knows, these gifts pile up, and seemingly multiple on their own. And the clutter becomes too much.

So here's how you get the whole toy disaster under control:

Purchase three or four large, plastic totes. I find mine on sale for $5 or $6 at Target. My friend suggests buying opaque, not transparent totes, so the kids can't see what you're putting away and pitch a huge, whiny fit. (Be sure you measure your storage space beforehand to make sure you buy the right size totes).
Get out all of your child's toys and books that dominate your living space. (Preferably when your child is out and about with dad or napping so you have the time and space to get the job done).

Sort the toys according to your liking: size, function, type, etc. For example, I put musical toys in one pile, dolls in another, stacking toys in another, Little People in another, etc.

Sort the books according to size, function, type, etc. I put "touch and feel" or "lift the flap" books in one pile, Dr. Seuss books in another, etc.

Begin to create three (or four, depending on the number of totes you buy) piles, dividing toys and books as you choose so that each pile contains a wide variety of books and toys (again, think about function, size, color, etc.). I usually divide up all the toys first, and then I move on to the books. I also tend to spread out her favorites among the piles.

As you work, collect any broken or unused/unliked toys into a pile of their own to decide what to do with (toss, donate, store). I also see if there are any toys or books she's outgrown.

Once you have your piles, put each pile into its own bin, leaving one set of toys and books out.

Using your storage system, which I use two low, sturdy baskets, place a set of toys to keep out into their home. Place the full bins into your chosen place of storage (we use my daughter's bedroom closet which is large).

Every week (choose a day), bring out a new bin of toys and put the week-old toys/books away. Rotate the bins so that every week, your child gets a "new" set of books/toys.

Easter Mantle

2010-03-12T12:57:00.001-08:00

So, keeping with my changing-things-up-spirit, here's a photo of my mantle, decorated for Easter.

I took two vases, which I already owned, and placed them on one end. To balance the height, I put an arrangement of faux flowers (I'm allergic to live ones) in a tall, clear vase on the other end. In a shorter, clear hurricane, I placed traditional, cheap-o, pastel eggs which were coated with tiny, pastel, multicolored beads (see next paragraph). In the middle I lined up antique sherbet dishes which belonged to my husband's grandmother (in yellow, green, and surprise, one blue) and my "welcome" sign---keeping the middle decorations low so the mirror would be unobstructed.

You can make the eggs yourself---easy! Just by mini beads and plastic eggs (bright or pastel). Coat the eggs with craft glue using a cheap, sponge brush, and then roll the eggs in a shallow bowl of the beads. Allow the eggs to throughly dry. Obviously, the beads are choking hazard, so the beads and beaded eggs should be kept out of your child's reach. (Thanks to my mom for this lovely idea!)

WELCOME, Spring! I've missed you!

Reuse + Save Money

2010-03-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

When I was a teen, I babysat one afternoon for a distant relative. While searching their home for some object the child wanted, I opened a drawer full of crinkled, scraggly, used wrapping paper and bows. Confused, I asked my mom what the deal was with that. She told me this relative saved wrapping paper and reused it.

Yeah, then I once saw someone rise out a plastic baggie and set it out to air dry. Why? It's a baggie! It's made to be used once and tossed.

These are some extreme examples, and honestly, these acts were a real turn-off for me. But then again, I never recycled. And I wasn't paying the bills (and buying the items I used while living at home).

But now I'm a grown up (woo hoo), paying my own bills (blah), and living in my own house (yeah). And my view has changed.

Recently, we've been purchasing more and more Annie's products for our daughter. They have the baked cheese (organic) crackers (much healthier than Goldfish), the organic (magical!) fruit snacks (which are perfect for a fussy toddler who is sick of waiting on the doctor, mom to finish shopping, etc.), and the whole wheat, organic mac-n-cheese.

As we finished yet another box of bunnies (sounds really morbid, right?) yesterday, I noticed the side of the box was screaming, "WAIT!" at me. Intrigued, I read on:

"Don't throw this box in the trash. Do you know how valuable it is?"

The suggestions are recycle the box (so it can be "reincarnated" as an "egg carton, some construction paper, or more Annie's boxes"), create bookmarks out of it, use it as a surface for a collage, or turn it inside out for coloring space.

Love this!

I have, in my short time as a parent, have realized how pricey children's toys are. I cannot believe how something so plasticy and junky can cost $15, $20, $25, etc. dollars! Even the "cheap" items like crayons and paper add up.

So here's what we've done:

Used large, empty boxes (from our new dishwasher, a stroller, etc.) as playthings. We are covering them with white paper (found on a large roll at Wal-Mart) and coloring on them. The boxes make great "houses" for little kids, and the large, white surfaces are perfect for coloring creatively (no staying in the lines!).
Used the cardboard inserts in toilet paper, wrapping paper inserts, etc. as toys. Why not? Miss E loves carrying them around, looking through them, tossing them, etc.
Let Miss E demolish old brochures, envelopes, etc. as we clean out our bill basket or a drawer. She loves ripping and tearing! We gather the pieces and recycle them when the job is done.
Use free mailing labels (we get SO many) as stickers. The other night, I took a few of them and made "whiskers" for my face and acted like a cat. Miss E LOVED it. These "stickers" are also great to decorate an old box. And again, once it gets too worn, we recycle it.

I figure we have plenty of years of the "gimmies" in our future, so why not utilize the simple things now, while we can? Furthermore, I cannot stand noisy toys. The kind where there are buttons and lights that basically tell the child how to play or play for the child. Where is the creativity in that?

And remember, when we buy an item, like a box of crackers, we're paying for the food and the packaging. So why not, as Annie's suggests, use that to our advantage?

You won't find me reusing wrapping paper (but I do reuse gift bags! but only if they don't look used...) or plastic baggies...but I will be more thrifty and green from now on.

Homemade Play Dough

2010-03-04T11:29:00.000-08:00

My advice: Don't make it.

Why?

It stinks.

It looks disgusting.

It creates dirty dishes.

In my "cool, all natural, green" mama attempt, I took some stock ingredients: cream of tarter, salt, flour, and food coloring, and carefully followed the recipe I copied from a toddler play book. In just five minutes, I had created my own version of the nostalgic joy.

There was nothing joyful about it. The color turned out to be salmon (a color I cannot stand and have despised since I discovered it at the age of three in my Crayola collection), the smell was nothing short of pungent (and seriously, I almost vomited every time I thought about it for days afterward), and the texture was disturbingly supple.

In my attempt to salvage the mess, I crushed up some stale peppermints and mixed them in. Didn't help a bit. So I had my husband dump cinnamon on the lump while I kneaded it. More, more, more, I told him. Eyebrows raised, he obliged. It didn't help.

I put the mass, which resembled a brain, into a container and hastily covered it with a lid.

Within the hour, I begged my husband to toss the whole thing, including the container, because I just couldn't stand the sight, smell, or even thought of it.

A few days later, I purchased a four pack of Play Dough at Target for $2. Lovely colors: turquoise, magenta, hot pink, and royal purple.

Sometimes it's fine not to be the natural mama. Sometimes the standard, the average, and the the normal is just fine.

Oh, and my daughter, who is only fifteen months, likes the Play Dough containers best. She carries them around in her arms like they are live babies. The actual dough? She could care less.

She's coming...she's coming!

2010-02-28T12:27:00.000-08:00

I got an appointment with a realtor! She's coming to do a walk through and give us tips for preparing to sell our home.

I'm feeling motivated to begin a list of projects that I will tackle after the semester is over in early May. I have three and a half months of freedom....and being me, Miss Type A, I have to start making plans. Scheduled freedom. Ha! (Is it weird that I'm excited about organizing the basement?)

We feel that in order to accommodate a second child in the future, we will need a bigger home. We currently have three bedrooms, but the third "spare" room is designated as my "creative space" and/or "mommy's room" (as I tell my daughter). It houses a double bed, scrapbooking supplies, our book collection, and my computer. Though I shared a room with my little sister and for the most part, enjoyed it, our bedrooms aren't large enough to room-share.

So I'm working on a list of questions for our realtor:

What sorts of upgrades boost a home value the most? (We are seriously considering getting new, nicer countertops in the kitchen and finishing the fence in the backyard).
What easy, DIY, ways can we upgrade without spending a lot of money? (Light fixtures? Paint? Landscaping?)
What could we sell our house for today?
What changes do you see that we need to make now to make our house more competitive with other homes?
What do you see as our home's strongest selling points? Weakest?

You might be wondering how we found a realtor, and despite all I read in real estate books, we stumbled upon our initial realtor/home evaluator quite easily. The family I used to nanny for recommended her. I had the pleasure of meeting her once, and I felt that she made a good first impression (friendly, professional, and warm toward the children). Today when I called to ask for an appointment, she worked with my schedule, was professional, and was enthusiastic. I like a person with passion, and she clearly has it for her job.

So we shall see how this goes. I'm looking forward to what the future holds. And with just two months until the end of the semester (which we are, in my opinion, on the downhill slide starting right after Spring Break next week), I'm ready to make summer plans.

Spread the Love: Mothering IS a Ministry

2010-02-27T11:08:00.000-08:00

One of my diabetes sisters and favorite bloggers recently shared her heart on the topic of "A Mother's Ministry" on her blog Red Gate Farm. Danielle shared:

...I have begun to see how the focus on such [church] ministries has turned to the point that we are forgetting one of the most important ministry opportunities we, as parents, have been blessed with–that of raising our children.

In an effort to continue Spreading the Love this month, I wanted to draw my readers' attention to Danielle's words.

Recently I was asked to join two committees at my church. Both are valuable, necessary, and beneficial; however, they were on opposite ends of the spectrum. One focuses on adult discipleship (meaning, adults getting "fed" and then spiritually "feeding" others through group Bible study, for example) and the children's ministry team. Both speak to my heart. I am eager to connect with other women and have long been planning a women's conference at my church (which is still rattling around in my head...). And I love working with children. For a semester I was the kids' Wednesday night program leader. I have helped with Bible school (as the snack coordinator---I mean, is there a better job?). And as my one-year-old daughter grows up, I want her in a church that is focused on children and their possibilities in this world.

But this week, as e-mails flooded my inbox about meetings and plans, I realized my heart isn't strongly in either place.

This week I have also been feeling guilty about the amount of time I spend doing chores (there is a never-ending list, as any parent knows), watching a few tv shows (just a few...but I need some relief from the "real world"), checking my online social networking sites (love 'em, but hate how wonderfully appealing they are), and more. I do believe in independent play for kids. I had plenty of it as a child, and I have no doubt it enabled me to be creative and active. But I hate that my daughter is simply following me around all day as I move from the kitchen (dishes), to the laundry room (towels), to the office (check e-mails from students), to the living room (a little tv time?), to the kitchen (make lunch), to the store (out of milk), etc.

Where is the blissful peace I imagined before I was a mom? (Stop laughing, ladies!! It can be found!)

I know that ministering, and I use that word loosely to mean TIME to nurture, is a choice. And that peaceful moments where there is play and cuddles and joy is possible, but it must be chosen.

I have long been a fan of saying "no" to anything that upsets my life's balance. This can be anything small from a run to the mall with a friend to joining an organization. I don't thrive in doing too many things in one time period. And I also don't believe it's healthy for me physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally (they are all intertwined) to over-commit.

Yet I found myself wanting to be willing and excited about changes within our church, and I feel an obligation (a joyful one) to participate in those changes. But I think I allowed a little of the mommy-guilt to set in. After all, my child will be, God-willing, growing up in our church, so how can I say no to assisting in planning how that will work? And I have the passion and yearning to be involved in adult discipleship, so why not jump right in?

Now, thinking about, there are too many meetings. And I'll be honest. Meetings BORE ME TO NEAR DEATH. I sit there and think about how I can run it better, how much time we are wasting, and what I can do to get outta there. (I know, patience isn't a virtue I hold....but I sure wish I did!). And meetings take time. Time away from my family.

And then there are the events. Events which my daughter is too young to participate in. Events that again, take time away from my family.

And then there's e-mails, which again, eat up time. Time that I should be spending elsewhere.

I'm not saying I am throwing these things out. But I'm creating some balance. I'm not going to attend the children's ministry meetings anymore, though I am going to help with Bible school this summer, yes, when I am off work. And I'm still thinking about how/when I can make this women's conference thing happen.

But my focus, I know, should be on what's going on right here in my own home. And that means getting things together and right here, first and foremost, so that when opportunity knocks outside my home, I can say "yes" or "no" with clairty and confidence, not out of guilt, obligation, or fleeting excitement.

So what does that mean for here at home? Bringing reading nights back (where did those go?). Better time management so that I can minimize the amount of time I spend on chores (hmmm....hire a housekeeper?), the internet (my vice...), and the tv (which I'm doing well on....deleting shows that are just CRAP and do not positively impact my life). I'm trying to read my Bible first thing in the morning to get my day started right instead of dreading it later as yet another "to do" on my mile-long list.

I'm going to replace any non-ministering (excessive) behaviors with ministering behaviors, and this to me can mean simply more attention given to my child, more time in quietness (tv off) which yields opportunities for creative fun, and more. It means things I cannot imagine now....because there's too much noise and busyness to imagine it.

There's so much competing for our time and attention as mothers and wives and women. So much. But we must choose what is most important and pursue it with strength, peace, and joy. How else are we to live?

Pass, Purge, or Pack?

2010-02-23T18:12:00.000-08:00

I tolerate organized messes.

I have piles, just like almost everyone I know. Piles of papers, piles of magazines, piles of bills, piles of books, piles of recipes. But I try to keep it organized and designated. Clutter control is essential to my mental health. Some people just operate like that. I can't relax or focus if the clutter is too much.

There are so many beautiful things in life. And yeah, I mean "things" as in material items. I love magazines, ribbon, stickers, stationary, articles, recipes, books, baking supplies, sticky notes, note pads, coupons, pens, photos.

But is it necessary to keep an entire magazine for one article? Is a cookbook worth renewing five times in order to "maybe" make a recipe "one day"? What about baking supplies I tried once and do not attend to use again?

In comes my philosophy. Here goes:

First, do I REALLY intend to use the item in a timely manner? If the answer is no, I proceed to decide what to do with it.
Can I pass the item on? Who can benefit from it? Who will appreciate it and use it? This might mean passing a stack of magazines on to a friend or donating a shirt to a local charity. (Keep a box in your closet for donations and empty it once a month).
Can I purge the item? Is it expired or tattered? Can I reasonably think of someone to pass the item on to? If not---purge! (Remember to recycle, if you can!)
Can I pack the item away to either save (because it's really that important), to use (in the NEAR future), or hold (until it's yard sale time and you're going in with a friend)? And how can I pack the item? (Think clear storage containers for easy visual access).

As we begin to prepare to sell our home, these questions are on my mind more than ever. I'm beginning to look at my home (closets, drawers, garage, basement---oh my!) as a buyer, not as the person who resides in this home and thinks all of her "stuff" is just fine as-is. Clutter is one of the main reasons a buyer will walk away from a house. And clutter does nothing for me physically (it takes up space that I need for another purpose), mentally (I can't focus when there are physical barriers), or spiritually (I can't focus on God when there's stuff everywhere).

So whether you are moving or staying, ask yourself as you organize, should I pass, purge, or pack?

Happy passing, purging, and packing, friends!

"The Dungeon"

2010-02-20T20:32:00.000-08:00

I didn't have a basement when I was growing up. My parents reside in a 100+ year old Victorian farmhouse. Back then people had root cellars. Living in the Midwest, we spent many summer days and nights in the cellar waiting for looming tornadoes to pass by. It was muddy, full of old canning jars, spiders, and God-knows-what-else, and was a place of adventure. While my mom sat on the stack of boards with her cordless phone, and my dad hovered near the steps holding a battery operated radio, the siblings would laugh, obviously not caring about the seriousness of a tornado.

My dear aunt and uncle reside in a Chicago suburb where seemingly everyone has a basement, or as we called it, a "dungeon." Down long, blue, creaky stairs was a basement that held some spare living room furniture, a washer and dryer, a pool table, and the best part, a pinball machine called The Road King. Good times.

Fast forward to four years ago when my husband and I purchased our first house, which, ta-da!, much to his joy, featured a 1500 square foot, unfinished basement. A dungeon of our very own! More like a giant storage room and possible future Man Cave.

We joke that I believe we don't even own a basement. I prefer to avoid it at almost any cost except the occasional workout on a rainy day when I just cannot fathom driving to the gym. I head down, flick on the lights, and get on my elliptical. I happily leave the space thirty minutes later, shut off the lights, and forget the whole lower level for another day.

We only have one main living space, and now being parents, we are battling the masses of toys and books that continue to grow. So we finally decided to make a play area in our basement. We recently purchased carpet for the floors. I hung up an old clothesline against one wall and used clothespins to clip art and other inspirational pieces to the line. To make it more festive, I wrapped the line with gold star tinsel leftover from my sister's bridal shower.

In the center I have a low, square art table we got for free from a neighbor. I tried to get Miss E to test out some Playdough, but all she did was grab the container and run away. Shrug.

Next step is paint. I didn't know, until last week, that painting concrete is a possibility! But I'm not a fan of gray walls, so bring on the cheerfulness! I'm going for a light, bright yellow. And then I'm contemplating a slew of other things like stars, flowers, music notes, a tree, and more. But the funny thing is, I'm a terrible artist!

So, maybe dungeons aren't my thing. But I'm learning to adjust, to make it work for us. And my daughter is thankful (as is Mommy) for the change of scenery on these cold, dreary winter days.

With some more creativity, a great paint job, and a better attitude, I'll learn to love my dungeon.

A Few Cool Things, Round 1

2010-02-17T20:05:00.000-08:00

A few cool things I've learned, discovered, and/or enjoyed this week:

I love hiring people to do things for us. This week we hired our neighbor to install a four-plug outlet in our basement. We also had a new (WORKING) dishwasher installed. And this week I'm getting estimates for fence instillation and painting of our bedroom. It's not that I'm lazy. It's just that I'm not good at any of the things I hire people to do (besides watching kids...but our nanny rocks...and mama needs her sanity and a paycheck).
Celery is good for you! I always thought it was about as nutritious as iceberg lettuce out of a bag, but it turns out I am wrong. 3 ounces of the Wild Harvest Organic celery I buy contains 100% vitamin A and 35% vitamin C. The best part---I don't count it as a carb at all because out of the 3g of carbs can be subtracted for fiber. Woo hoo! I love to dip my celery in hummus. Yum! And it's virtually calorie free.
In some magazine (which horrid me, cannot give credit to because I'm forgetting where I read this tip....) I read a list of ways to save a lot of money every month by making small, easy changes. The tip that stood out to me was to pinch the toilet paper roll when putting a new one on the rod in order to make it more difficult for a user to spin the roll and use far too much paper than necessary to um, do the job. Smart!
I'm reading a book called How To Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew and loving it! It's full of practical (and amusing) tips on how to make life at home better. I love that housekeeping is cool now (again), yet it's not the tedious and unrewarding task that many 1950s women faced. Women are choosing to take homemaking to a whole new which is much more personally satisfying. The author advises how to do clean anything with vinegar (love the stuff!), how to host a potluck (one of my fav things to do), how to write a thank you note (which I'm obsessed with), how to iron a shirt (which my dad did for me when I lived at home, and now, well, I don't buy shirts that need to be ironed...ever), how to give yourself a facial (hmmm...I should try this), and much, much more. Best part is this book is a softcover, so with a coupon, you can get this book for less than the $15.00 list price.

I look forward to sharing with you more great finds in upcoming posts. Enjoy!

What Do I Want To Do In My Life?

2010-02-14T19:53:00.000-08:00

There's an interesting new show on MTV called The Buried Life. The cameras follow four young men on their journey to fulfill their wishes from their "What Do You Want To Do Before You Die?" list.

The past three episodes have had me laughing, tearing up, and simply wondering the question that the narrator asks at the beginning and end of every episode: What do I want to do before I die?

(One of the great things about this show is that during each episode, the guys not only check an item off their list, but they also find a random person and help him or her fulfill something on his or her list).

There's that cliche saying that goes, "Live each day as if it's your last." Or, the deep, thoughtful question, "If you only had twenty-four hours left to live, what would you do?" Or of course, resonating from Dead Poet's Society, carpe diem (seize the day). Pastors, philosophers, and "spiritual" people use these "last day" ideas as tactics to scare, inspire, or challenge people.

What does all this mean though, to everyday moms, wives, employees---women---like us who have responsibilities, obligations, and a lot of buried hopes and dreams? How is life, as free as the one that Ben, Duncan, Dave, and Jonnie live, possible? (Well, ok smarty pants. I know they have their own TV show, a cool bus, and money...but besides all that...)

The thing that challenges me the most about the concept of this show is that I know there are things I want to do, and I haven't. And maybe I won't ever. And does that matter?

For the longest time, my life-goal was to publish. So finally one day, a few years after my diabetes diagnosis, I sat down at my computer and begin condensing some of my journal entries into chapters of a book. I researched publishers, wrote lots of query letters, worked on my outlining for how I would market my book, and then, one day, sent the letters, including a SASE for an awaited response.

A few weeks later, the rejection letters began to trickle in. I was discouraged. Then, one glimmer of hope. A publisher asked for a few sample chapters. I was giddy, thrust several pages of my book into a manila envelope, and had it shipped.

However, it was rejected.

And that's when I started my article writing career. I realized that in order to do what I wanted, to publish, I didn't have to write a bestseller. I just had to write something that mattered to me and that mattered to a few other people. Because changing lives and encouraging and educating and relating to others isn't about the masses. It's about individuals and their struggles.

So with my dream of publishing finally coming true, a dream that has been living in me since I was a little girl, I am now left to evaluate everything else.

What do I want to do before I die?

...........

I have now attempted to type a list three times, and honestly, it's really hard for me to come up with things that do not seem petty (like keeping my office organized). I mean, what really great, amazing, astounding, earth-shattering, life-altering things would I like to do?

I'm not ready to answer my own question.

I suggest watching an episode or two of the MTV show and asking yourself THE question. And then I hope you are able to live, carpe diem style, to your fullest potential every day.

Spread the Love: Benefits of 1500 sq feet

2010-02-11T14:18:00.000-08:00

My mom made a cross stitch years ago that featured a little house in the center and this saying around the border: "A house is made of brick and stone. A home is made of love alone."

Late last year, I had a lengthy and fruitful phone conversation with one of my teaching friends, Camille. We like to talk about how we are reinventing ourselves, what works, what doesn't work, and how we can possibly fulfill multiple roles (wife, mom, friend, teacher, writer, etc.) successfully without loss of who we are, who we want to become, and who God made us to be.

We got on the subject of our homes. Currently, I'm part-owner of a four year old, split-bedroom ranch with a two car garage, two bathrooms, an eat in-kitchen, and a large backyard. It's clean, new, yet it's modest (no chandeliers or granite countertops). I would describe our home as comfortable and welcoming.

But, I can't see how we could live in this house with two children. Right now the home is the perfect size for our three-person family. But add another child into the mix (when we adopt again), and I can see how mommy might need some medication.

I am all set to move (bigger and better) in the next year or two. But the other night my husband surprised me with his projection; we'll probably stay in this house for another two years. I was surprised and slightly annoyed.

I am the primary child care provider, and I'm only at work about ten hours a week. I spend a lot of time in my home. I know it well. And I know how much smaller it might seem once baby number two makes his or her debut.

There are some issues....

First, we have one living space where our one television resides. Our living room is THE place to be every evening and on weekends. It's our entertainment facility, my daughter's playspace, the bill-paying station, and the entertainment space. It's multi-purposes can be overwhelming sometimes---and we can get on one another's nerves. My husband might want to watch the auto auctions on tv (GAG!), while our daughter is ready to play, and I'm tired and just want to read a magazine in silence.

Second, we have one eating area: our eat-in kitchen. We have a charming antique table that belonged to my grandfather. The seat creaks when a diner makes any move, even just reaching for the salt. Four dinner guests is about all the space can handle comfortably; however, we have managed to seat ten or more using a creative placement of a card table. It can be tight.

Third, the garage. It's tight. It not only houses my Honda Accord, my husband's Toyota Highlander, but also two bikes, one mower, tools, the garbage can, the recycling bin, grass seed, a deep freeze, a pile of grass stained laundry, and a jogging stroller. Now, before I go on, my husband has organized the space beautifully (and I am thankful for his initiative to not have a garage that serves as a catch-all junk storage facility but rather a real garage)---so I'll give credit where credit is due. It is nearly impossible not to let the car doors ding each other or get the baby into the car without scraping an arm against the garage wall.

I began to realize I was spending far too much time pondering what I didn't like about our house. And after my conversation with Camille, we both came to the realization that though things aren't perfect, we are blessed. There are benefits to a smaller space:

First, there's far less cleaning and organizing. I can dust, vacuum, do dishes, mop, pick up, etc. in less than two hours. Easy.

Second, because of our limited communal rooms, we are always together as a family. We work (chores!) and play together. (Luckily we do each have our own spaces for mental well-being: I have my office, my husband has the yard---though he may think that's just a work space, and my daughter, well, she' claims the whole place as hers).

Third, we aren't stressed out with a mortgage payment and utility bills we can't afford. (The number one reason couples argue is over money).

Fourth, I always know where my daughter is and what she is doing. I can see from one end of the house to the other. There's a sense of security that comes with that.

So for now, I'm focusing on what I can do to create a happier space instead of constantly listing in my mind the complaints and possibilities. We do have plans to move in the next two years; however, looking too far ahead promotes too much yearning and not enough carpe diem.

May you find peace in the home you are in now and blessings in the smaller spaces.

Valentine Fun

2010-02-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

I've never been a big fan of Valentine's Day. I guess the flowers-balloons-chocolates-jewelry thing is just too cliche, too average, too predictable, too artificial, too manufactured...you get the picture.

But after becoming a mom and after watching a few inspirational episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8 (before the whole Jon having an affair drama), in conjunction with my mom's ability to turn a holiday into a celebration that Martha Stewart would be jealous of, I've taken to celebrating holidays, particularly the ones I used to not care much about (Halloween and V-day, for example), in newer and more exciting ways.

First, I created my own "mobile" of sorts using my kitchen light fixture. Since we spend a lot of time in our kitchen (meal prep, eating, playing), I decided to spruce it up a bit using the light fixture, which is the focal point of the room. Using the same method I used at Christmas, I dangled heart-shaped cookie cutters ($3 at Wal-Mart) from the light fixture with pink, white, and red ribbon (I already had).

Second, the adoption online message board I frequent had a post on a sensory box for little kids. The poster referenced a blog that suggested using red and white beans (and some small hearts---which I didn't use because my baby is too young) to fill a wide (but not deep) storage container. It's like an indoor sandbox without the mess of sand. I got white beans (large and small) and red beans (one bag of light, one bag of dark) and poured them into a storage container I already had. I then threw in some cleaned butter containers, measuring cups, spoons, and other items as toys.

My daughter loves it! And I love that the beans, unlike sand, won't remain in her hair for weeks. Plus, this makes for a perfect winter activity. (Now, she's only fifteen months, so I obviously only let her play with the tub under careful supervision. I don't need her choking on beans!) The clean up is easy, too.

Other posters suggested using different colored beans for different holidays. Brilliant!

However you celebrate V-day, I hope you enjoy it.

Spread The Love: Change It Up!

2010-02-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

My "Spread the Love" campaign has begun. Today's topic: Change It Up!

My online friend, Katie, blogs about her family, her faith, and her home. Katie is a "heart on her sleeve" kind of girl, which I adore! I never leave her blog feeling empty. Instead, I'm inspired to try something new.

Katie is forever changing things up whether it's buying a bargain piece of furniture and re-purposing it, decorating "on a dime," choosing paint colors and accessorizing, etc.

Taking inspiration from Katie's blog, I decided to make a free, simple change in my living room: slightly changing the furniture arrangement. Rearranging furniture can be a lot of fun, but with one living space that only has two walls (one wall occupies both windows and the fireplace), our furniture arrangement opportunities are limited. So instead of overhauling the whole living room (which wouldn't really work), I had our two living room chairs swap places.

I don't think anyone else really notices---but I do. The smaller chair now occupies the smaller space, and the larger chair is now in the larger space. I see that the room is more balanced, and this minor change brings me a sense of satisfaction. Additionally, we still have maximized floor space, which is crucial for some serious playtime!

I also, like Katie, enjoy changing my accessories often. I like walking into our main living space and seeing something new and different, even if it's something as small as the placement of an item on the mantle. (You know how babies need changes of scenery? Well, we all do!)

I encourage you, especially during these long, winter months, to do something in your home that brings you peace, renewal, and joy. It can be as dramatic as painting a room or as minor as rearranging accessories.

Other ideas:

Put new photos in your frames.
Paint an accent wall.
Put a quote on the wall (you can order quotes through a company or use a projector and a paint marker).
Get new pillow covers.
Put down or take up a rug.
Display hardcover books minus the jackets. They're so much prettier this way!
Change out wall art. (I have several pieces that I change a few times a year).
Use what you already have to decorate---drape a favorite blanket over a chair, use a pretty kitchen bowl to hold decorative items, etc.
Swap curtains (from another room or with a friend) or do something new with the curtains.

The possibilities are endless.

Find joy, friends!

Spread the Love!

2010-02-04T11:12:00.000-08:00

All of February, I'm committing to promote other blogs so that my readers can enjoy some of my favorites. Let's spread the love!

Please cut and past this idea into your own blog. Let's have fun!

Who I Am As a Mama

2010-02-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

I have many roles: wife, teacher, freelance writer, church member, committee member, blogger, chefette, and, of course, mama. I've been thinking about how I'd describe my role as mama and my beliefs as a parent...and here's what I've come up with so far:

I sometimes carry my daughter in a sling, but cloth diapers have ZERO appeal to me. Earthy mama? Not really.

I don't mind when she uses my face as a Kleenex or licking post. I can't get enough of her sweetness (or saliva).

I made organic baby food for my daughter, and now after dinner, she munches on chocolate chips.

I am determined to keep her on a nap schedule (for her sanity and mine), but sometimes I will hold her while she's supposed to be sleeping and we both laugh about something no one else gets.

We love making faces---"surprised" face, snorty face, smiley face. Love them all.

We don't put our child in front of cartoons, but she does see the occasional episode of Desperate Housewives.

I don't put batteries in any of her (very few) electronic toys, but I let her carry around my cell phone and type on my computer keyboard.

Boxes, paper, and kitchen utensils make great toys!

We wrestle one minute, dance to African music the next, and then hold all of her babies (dolls) and say, "AWWWWWWWWW" as we nurture them.

We think belly buttons are really cool. My daughter's is shaped just like a cinnamon roll. Mine is a donut.

My daughter has never eaten McDonald's. And I'm really proud of that. Stick it to the MAN!

I hope she grows up open-minded but firm in her faith. I hope she's creative and embraces the arts. I hope she's good in math, because I'm not, and it's bothersome.

As a mama, I am firm when necessary, fun most of the time, open to possibilities, experienced in some areas, often corrected by a 14 month old who knows what is best (or at least what is demanded), and ready to find out what tomorrow and tomorrow and the next tomorrow will bring.

Sticks & Stones

2010-01-30T19:10:00.000-08:00

Females remember.

They remember the time they were told they were too fat, too skinny, too dark, too light, too bossy, too indecisive, too aggressive, too passive, too complex, too simple, too certain, too awkward, too normal, too odd, too grounded, too moody, too smart, too dumb.

We don't forget.

Today a girlfriend of mine came over for a jean swap. She has recently lost weight, and I had three pairs of nearly brand-new jeans (American Eagle and Limited) in the size she needed. (This size I easily passed up on my crazy weight gain during my post-diabetes diagnosis days). The jeans I wear now are too big, and thankfully my friend had about fifteen pairs of jeans in the size I currently wear. (Woo hoo for a jean swap!)

I tried on pair after pair, scrutinizing each in my bathroom mirror. I held up one pair I thought were particularly cute to which my friend said, "Those are the jeans I wore when we when to Applebee's and you told me my butt looked good in them."

We went to Applebee's together over a year ago. And she remembered the jeans she was wearing and the compliment.

The chant "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" simply isn't true. I wish it were. I wish we, as women, could easily shake off the words that beat us down every day---the words that haunt us.

Have you ever read this poem?

"Barbie Doll"
Marge Piercy

This girlchild was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.

She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.

She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
Her good nature wore out
like a fan belt.
So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.

In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.

What we tell others and what we say to ourselves are powerful things. We can live and die by them.

I challenge you (and me) today to say only things that are "nice" and that uplift another person, especially a fellow woman. (If you can't say something nice....). Affirm her feelings, compliment one of her talents, or simply offer up a smile or a small gift. Something that says, "I like you. You matter. I think you're great. Glad to know you."

Let's start, if we've stopped, empowering one another.

Four Minutes

2010-01-26T20:04:00.000-08:00

The other day, Dr. Phil said on his show that the first four minutes of a conversation with someone determines the rest of the conversation and/or time together.

So, something to ponder for today and going forward....

How can you make the first four minutes of any conversation be positive so that the rest of the time will be beneficial, fruitful, and pleasant for all?

I'm thinking about when I've been with my baby all day. I'm tired. I have stains on my clothes. And then my husband walks through the door after a long day of work. My gut reaction is to thrust the baby into his arms, run into my office, and hide for two hours. (I have done this before....).

To make the first four minutes count I could, offer him a hug, a kiss, a "how was your day?", and me spending a few more minutes with the baby so my husband can change clothes and settle in.

FOUR MINUTES. It's not that long of a time, but a little effort on one person's part might just make all the difference.

Snow Day Brought Inside

2010-01-21T15:19:00.000-08:00

The view from my front porch on a snow day

The January mantle

More January mantle

A few weeks ago I posted about the post-holiday blues that can weave their way into our lives rather naturally after the continuous thrills and busyness of constant holidays plans and events.

The truth is, I don't like winter very much. It's not the cold. In fact, I'm so hot natured and wear short sleeves year-round. I despise coats and prefer a scarf instead. I love sipping hot tea while sitting on the couch by my blazing fireplace. What I don't like about winter are the seemingly endless strings of days of nothing but cloudy skies. I like the sunshine. And I like taking my baby outdoors. Right now we are camped in the living room for hours upon hours every day, only to find a break in meal time or snack time, a diaper change, or a run to the mailbox.

Finding myself in the mood to continue the tradition of changing things up and decorating in a way that inspires me rather than sending me back into same-o, same-o mode (or to some, SAD, seasonal affective disorder---blah on winter!), I headed to my local Wal-Mart to purchase some clearanced, leftover holiday decorations. I found white, shiny tinsel and fake (but sparkly) greenery. Total was less than $3.

I then found some doily-style, homemade Christmas ornaments in the shape of snowflakes in my Christmas storage bins in the basement. These were a lovely, very thoughtful wedding gift from a family friend. I had never used them until this point. Seven years post-wedding isn't too late, is it?

On the floor of my linen closet I rediscovered a container of votive holders, in various textures and shapes. I also found plenty of white, unscented tea light candles, and a few green odds and ends such as a welcome sign, a round candle, and two hurricanes that sit well inside one another.

In fifteen minutes, a few "no no" warnings to my daughter who was trying to scale the step ladder I was using, and the yearning for something festive, simple, and cheap, I came up with my January mantle.

Why not celebrate the ordinary? A snow day is a nuisance to many...but to me, it became a form of God-sent art to inspire my January mantle---a focal point of my living room that makes me sigh and smile.

May you change something today that will serve as a visual reminder (and pleasure) of the winter season and the beauty that can be found (even on a cloudy day!).

Dirty Mini Vans and Excessive Coffee

2010-01-17T21:13:00.000-08:00

I value down time.

I grew up in the country where we learned our own creativity through making mud pies and bird seed soup in our (under the tree house) country restaurant. We learned some religion by baptizing one another in the swimming pool (good times....). We exercised by sprinting across our two acre lot. We wrote and performed plays in the front yard, invented tales in the big red barn, and gathered apples from the overhanging fruit trees. Life was simple.

Soon I entered a phase where I just wanted to be involved. Kids in my school were joining band, cheerleading, sports teams, choir, scouts, etc. I wanted in.

It started with piano lessons, which I despised. I was only interested in imagining, not following the notes a book commanded I play.

In seventh grade I tried out for choir. I had to sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" in a round with the choir director. I couldn't do it. I didn't make it. Guess I should have paid more attention in prior music sessions with my piano teacher...

In eighth grade I decided to get athletic and try out for volleyball. I became, proudly, the captain of the C team. You know your alphabet, and that C is third, coming after A and B. Nonetheless, I was happy to be part of team. My family came to my games, near and far, and cheered me on while scarfing down refreshment stand popcorn. (My dad, by the way, always cheers for both teams and for good plays no matter the player).

I tried to return to volleyball my freshman year of high school, but I was so sore after the first day of tryouts that I didn't return.

I found my home with the school newspaper and in school plays: Grease and A Midsummer Night's Dream. (I didn't ever get a singing part; however, I loved being a dancer---some glory without the stress and work that a lead carries). I was also co-president of the National Honor Society. This task required no work but a great line on my transcript).

I took pride in one activity at a time. And I had to. Living in the country meant driving to an activity took more time and money (for gas). So my parents limited us to one activity at a time. We had to choose (well...except when my mom chose those horrid piano lessons) ONE.

I admit there were times when I thought it was SO UNFAIR and SO UNCOOL to be the girl who wasn't at a practice, rehearsal, or lesson every night of the week and playing in games every Saturday, all day. I didn't get why my parents preferred the quiet breeze on our screened-in back porch to the squeaks and smells in a gymnasium at 8:00 a.m. on every single Saturday morning.

And now, as a mom, I get it. I see my daughter, precious, innocent, ready to blossom, and I see what competes for her attention, even now at 14 months old: dance, play groups, beginners' soccer, story times, foreign language classes, and music classes.

I wonder if children today are shoved and shuffled so much that they just don't know who or what they are besides BUSY. Where is the time to cultivate skills and talents organically? What happened to family dinners? Lazy Saturday mornings with the kids watching cartoons and the parents sipping coffee? What happened to Sunday afternoon naps after church? What about a toddler banging on a set of Tupperware with a spoon instead of orchestrated music lessons at the local park district?

Part of my disgust is purely self-serving. I like my sleep. I like having time. I like being at home, in my pjs, sipping hot tea while my daughter finds adventures in ordinary things like gazing out the window or wrestling a stuffed animal. I crave and strive for simplicity and calmness.

I don't know what the future holds. Maybe my daughter will show promise of being an all-star softball player or an advanced violinist. Perhaps she will enter state science fairs or join a chess team. Judging from her toddler drama, she might make a wonderful actor. And perhaps I will become that tired, frazzled mom shuffling her children from place to place in a crumb-laden mini-van while scarfing down a power bar and chugging coffee just to stay alert enough to make it to the next destination.

I'm tired just typing that last sentence.

I hope I have the strength and conviction to remain true to my belief: that children can grow simply by being at home and engaging in the every day. However, I'm open to change, even if it means a little less sleep and a little less control.

28 Blessings

2010-01-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

My birthday is just two days away. I admit--I just love birthdays. I love the cards, the voice mails, the e-mails, the dinner dates. My mom always made a huge deal out of our birthdays (still does)---so it's ingrained in me to CELEBRATE!

I'll soon be twenty-eight years old, and in celebration I'm listing 28 of my blessings. This is by no means a complete list, and it's in no particular order.

1: My daughter. She has changed my life for the better in every way possible.

2: My husband. He's immensely supportive and understanding.

3: My home---it's cozy, comfortable, and familiar. "There's no place like home."

4: Healthy foods. I feel blessed that we can buy mostly organic and know we are making healthy choices for ourselves and our daughter.

5: God. I mean really, where would I be without Him?

6: Adoption. It's opened my eyes to issues I never would have considered otherwise.

7: Diabetes. It's provided me with a renewed passion for writing.

8: Publishing! I'm thrilled to see my name in print (a goal since childhood), but even more important, I'm blessed that my words can help others in their health and adoption walks.

9: Hot tea. I love it this time of year. I have my collection of Tazo boxes including Wild Sweet Orange. I just like saying it.

10: Dessert. It's by far my favorite food group.

11: My gym girlfriends. They took me out for a fabulous and laid-back birthday celebration. We had soup, sandwiches, and bread. The best part was a HUGE smiley face with party hat balloon. I smile every time I pass by it. It's so tall it only fits in my vaulted ceiling room (living room). SWEET.

12: My job. I adore teaching. There's a thrill that comes from a student's "ah-ha" moment.

13: Pizza. I love it. Enough said.

14: Dreft laundry detergent for babies. So sweet.

15: Health insurance. Um, where would I be without it? BROKE.

16: My siblings. They are smart, passionate, and hilarious. They have personality. I admire them.

17: My parents who raised me in a Christian and creative home.

18: My adoption friends---birth moms and adoptive moms. They have taught me so much.

19: Paper. I just love it. You should see my office.

20: Cards and stationary---forms of paper. I love getting and giving cards. (Love you, Hallmark!)

21: Sleep. My baby is a rockin' sleeper and thus, so am I!

22: Untouched, perfect, fluffy snow that covers my entire lawn and glistens in the sun. (It's even better when I have no where to go!)

23: The beach. God makes some cool stuff---and the beach is one of them!

24: Funnel cakes and cheese fries---occasional foods that bring me joy.

25: Good medical professionals. They have no idea what a wonderful impact they have on my life. I should send them a card.

26: Pjs. My outfit of choice.

27: My husband's parents. They raised a good man.

28: Children. Their innocence, their hearts-on-their-sleeves, their thoughts and questions, and their vulnerability.

Fabulous Blog Find

2010-01-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

Finding a new blog to enjoy is such a pleasure! We are all busy women, and our "spare time" (yeah, as if we REALLY have any) is precious.

If you have a few moments, explore Passionate Homemaking. Lindsay's blog consists of book recommendations, recipes, tips, day to day living experiences, gift ideas, and much more.

Happy reading! And if you find a blog I should highlight, please let me know!

Old Country Store

2010-01-04T21:47:00.000-08:00

Black angel.

Bird ornament.

Candy ornament.

Bird ornament #2.

Smocked dress (detail).

There's just something about Cracker Barrel's Old Country Store. I can't help but be drawn to it. There's always a fun treasure (or in this recent case, several) waiting to be found.

My most recent trip resulted in some fab finds: three ornaments (two bird ornaments with ribbon tails--stunning!--and a candy ornament) for a total of $4, a smocked (Christmas) dress for my daughter for (you're going to flip!) $6!, and a black angel statue (that isn't creepy or ugly) for $4.50.

Then there's the whole wheat sour dough French toast. Yum! I get two pieces with two sides: Egg Beaters and green beans. I know. It's weird.

I used to despise the place. First, there are all those creepy portraits and artifacts on the walls. Then there's the crowd---usually obese, older people who order chicken with mashed potatoes, corn, and bread rolls (ummmm......carbs, anyone?). And it's usually so dark in there. Which makes the place even creepier. Oh yes, and the food, I know, is not homemade. The green beans come in a can, not from a garden out back. It's all a facade made to make old people feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

But the food is sometimes just what I need, and the country store is cheery. What a great experience---dining and shopping! I wish I would have invented it.

Anyway, the post-Christmas sales are almost too good to pass up. I've been cleaning out old decor that no longer appeals to me (doesn't matter who gives it to you or how much it means to someone who has been with Jesus for ten years) and making room for newer items that fill my heart with holiday cheer. Now, if I could just stay away from the stores.....

Don't Toss the Cards!

2010-01-02T10:11:00.000-08:00

Before you throw out all of your Christmas cards, take a tip from my mom. Take your favorite cards, cut them into gift tags, and use them for next year. This will save you money (no tag buying) and will give your gifts a pretty center.

Also, I take the photo cards friends and family members send me, cut them into a 4 x 6 size, and slip them into my photo album. Instantly updated photos of your nearest and dearest!

Cable Woes

2009-12-31T14:27:00.000-08:00

We have had cable for two years now.

I grew up with about five channels of television: CBS, NBC, PBS, ABC, and one other, static channel. When we were little kids, my siblings and I were allowed to watch about thirty minutes of television a day (Sesame Street) while my mom prepared our lunch. That was it. The rest of our time was filled with outdoor play (the tree house, the swimming pool, the yard, the barn) and indoor play (Barbies and Batman, writing and illustrating stories, Legos, dolls, annoying one another and mom).

Two years ago, our television simply wasn't working well without cable. We had rabbit ears that connected to our brand-new flatscreen. The shows were fuzzy (the snowflake effect), and no one could move without causing more static. So I drew the line and said we either get cable or we take the brand new tv to the basement where it would sit unused. We got cable.

We have spent our fair-share of time watching mindless television. But how has it benefited us? I really think it hasn't. Yes, we know more about lobster fishing, Jon and Kate's divorce, and what it's like to be a little person in a big world---but really, how does that enhance our lives?

Technology is crowding out meaningful relationships, important conversations, and togetherness that only comes through play. I enjoy texting, Facebooking, and posting on message boards just like the next person; however, I am wondering what all this is going to do to relationships. Will the divorce rate go up? (Or maybe decline because couples won't talk and therefore, won't argue or discuss important issues?) Will people have fewer true friends? Will our obesity rate keep climbing because of our sedentary lifestyle? (I saw a show the other day where a mom would text her kids to tell them it was time for dinner rather than walk across the house to tell them.)

At this point, now that we have a child and thus, a busier life, I think we could go without cable. The only thing keeping us tied to it is our desire to keep up with the Kardashians (just kidding---but seriously, we love a few select cable shows) and the fact that without cable, it's back to very fuzzy episodes of The Office, which is our favorite television show.

It's very difficult to limit our time with out television or computer, but I don't want my child growing up always remembering mom and dad with a remote or a keyboard at our hands. I want her to remember us playing babies or building blocks with her.

This sounds like a New Year's Resolution---but it isn't. I don't really believe in resolutions that start on January 1st (which usually deteriorate a week later). I just want real, honest, motivated, effective change.

I want to institute a reading night in the middle of the week. I want to limit our television time. I want us to realize that the world goes on when the tv is off, and that real life is so much more rewarding than another episode of Cake Boss. I want us to find joy in the little things that cannot come to anyone through the click of a button.

What changes do you hope to make in the coming year? What can you do to make a happier, healthier home?

After Holiday Blahs

2009-12-28T13:25:00.000-08:00

Got 'em?

It's hard not to. The decorations are asking to be taken down, the excitement of new gifts is substituted with the reality of the credit card bill, and there's not much to look forward to in this midst of long, cold, dreary, winter months.

Lately I've asked myself: Why is Christmas so special? Why are we so let down after it's over? And what can we do about it?

For me, Christmas is special because, I'll be perfectly honest, I LOVE everything about gift giving and gift receiving. It's exciting knowing someone bought or made you something, wrapped it up, and it's just waiting for you to dive right in. I rearrange the gifts I buy and place under the tree about twenty times during the month of December. I can't wait to see the joy on their faces (well, hopefully) when they open the gifts).

And I love how people get a little more serious about God around Christmas. How can they not? The season, whether or not people want to believe it, centers around Christ's birth. I love the Christmas story. Jesus came in such a humble way to humble people during a scary time in history.

I love to decorate, even though I'm not very good at it. I have my various Christmas decor: a nativity set, ornaments (love them!), wreaths, dishes, hand towels, etc. I place them throughout my home---holiday cheer everywhere!

So, why are we so let down when it's all over? Because my friends, Christmas is special. We prepare, we make lists, we bake, we see family, we go to church, we send cards, we open cards. It's gifts, it's food, it's conversations, it's laughter. It's joy. We take time to do things, fun things, the right way---with joy, with patience, and with purpose. The beauty surrounds us. Everyone is glowing with Christmas cheer. We give to charity willingly, we hold open more doors for others, and we don't mind baking an extra bread loaf for an elderly, lonely neighbor. It's truly a feel-good holiday.

I LOVE the glow put off by my Christmas tree. I just gaze at it, admire it, and bask in it's warmth. Each evening we turned on the fire place, snuggled on the couch under fleece blankets while watching cheesy holiday flicks, and relished in the quiet nights.

What can we do about it (once it's over)? If I only knew! :) It would be lovely if I could go all-out for other holidays, but the truth is, I just don't enjoy Valentine's Day or Halloween like I do Christmas. I guess the beauty of Christmas, above all, is celebration. We need a little more celebration in each and every day, don't we?

Having a child has made me think to be more motivated to create special traditions other than just a few on December 25th. I'm not sure what 2010 will bring, but I'm excited that there are possibilities and adventures yet to be had.

Make a List, Check it Twice, & Get a Great Deal!

2009-12-22T09:09:00.000-08:00

Each year, right after Christmas, I head to my local Hallmark store and Wal-Mart to load up on next year's Christmas goods. I highly suggest going early, to avoid the picked-over merchandise selection. Yes, you'll pay a little more (maybe only 50% off instead of 75% off); however, you'll find the items you want. I suggest making a list of what you might need (number of rolls of wrapping paper, number of Christmas cards, etc.) to avoid buying too much.

This is my list & tips:

Hallmark wrapping paper (it's heavy and features a grid on the back for accurate cutting) for Christmas AND year-round. Some designs labeled as "Christmas" do not feature Christmas designs and can be used for b-day gifts, Father's Day, Mother's Day, etc. all year long!

Hallmark Christmas cards (they are the absolute best)---I purchase several different boxes for variety. I suggest making sure they aren't an odd shape or too large which often requires extra postage.

Tissue paper at Wal-Mart or Target. It's cheap and can be used year-round.

Cheap colored ball ornaments----which look fabulous in tall, clear, glass vases on a mantle, for example. Plus, I break at least one every year, so why not have extras?

Christmas decor---as if you don't have enough. :) I usually pick up a favorite ornament or two. I suggest trying stores like Pier One, World Market, and Target which often carry unique merchandise.

Bows. Last year at Wal-Mart, for 75 cents, I picked up 40 bows in various sizes, textures, and colors. I've been using them all year for various gifts and still have plenty left over.

Stockings---if you need them.

Baking items. After Christmas our Wal-Mart puts all of their cans of Libby's pumpkin puree on sale. I load up for half the price they normally are. Other items you might find on sale include chocolate chips, baking mixes, and specialty baking decorations like sprinkles, which stay good for a long time.

Paper goods. You'll find red, green, snowflake, etc. paper goods for half or more off. They are perfect for all winter and next year's parties.

Christmas lights and outdoor decor. We have yet to decorate the outside of our home besides the wreath on the door; however, if you're feeling ambitious (well, for next year), pick up these items the day after Christmas.

Pre-lit trees. Martha Stewart pre-lit trees are stunning. You can find them at K-Mart.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas...

2009-12-18T14:35:00.000-08:00

BAKING: homemade, organic apple bread and mini-brownies (which stuck to the pan but still tasted good!). Oh yes, and a oven that needs to be set to "self clean" but the last time I did that the house smelled like a burning forest. I'm scared.

DECOR: These Barbie ornaments were gifts from my aunt when I was a child. They are so glamorous!

DECORATING: I attempted to make a new sugar cookie recipe that could be used to make ten different types of cookies. They failed miserably, much to my dismay. I attempted to decorate some of them (the few on the left) to look like Christmas trees.

BOW MAKING: My daughter will be festive this holiday. The bottom bow features mini cookie cutters---to adults and one child---yep, that's our family! If you like these, know you might be getting one for your little girl this year. I am on a bow making kick right now.

THE TREE: Central to a Christmas celebration. This year our usual white, silver, and clear theme went out the window. Welcome to parenthood---with ornaments that do not coordinate at all but are oh-so-fun! Or as my dad says, "Looks like Disney World threw up on it." :) Ha!

SORTING: Through old boxes, that is. Last year both sets of parents set us home with boxes of old Christmas decor from our childhoods. We found out that we had matching ornaments from our grandparents. Meant to be?

MORE ORNAMENTS: Who thought this was a good gift? This rusted "Best Friends" ornament was in my box. It's new home is the trash can. Seriously--who thought that two polar bears floating on an iceberg in the middle of God-knows-where demonstrated "best friends"?

ORNAMENTS AGAIN: Steve's box contained this mouse-elf-ax man ornament. Creepy and not at all "green." We're trying to save trees, sir.

ORNAMENT FUN CONTINUES: Steve's box contained this Cookie Monster ornament. I think it's hilarious and fun, and it's now on our tree. LOVE LOVE LOVE it!

----

What's going on with you this year? Find any fun in a disintegrating box? Reinvent your traditions? Whatever it is, be merry!

A Semester In Review

2009-12-15T14:07:00.001-08:00

I remember the days ticking by until my first semester back at work would start after spending nine months at home with my daughter.

And now today, my first day of a four week break. Spring semester isn't on my radar right now. Instead, my thoughts are consumed with Christmas plans, home projects (organize my office, set up a play area in the basement, clean out the linen closet), and hopes (watch lots of movies, wear my pjs all day long, find inspiration to write many more articles).

This past semester was simply uneventful--thank God. What made it such a success?

First, we had excellent child care. Thank you to Nanny C who took care of our daughter and our home with confidence, enthusiasm, and practicality. Coming home to a picked-up home, no dirty dishes, and a happily sleeping baby is a mother's dream come true!

Second, my students were responsible, responsive, and respectful. Ahhhhhh. One student said to me today, "You were the best English teacher I've ever had." (Grades were already submitted...so I think his compliment was genuine!)

Third, my husband was supportive. We divided up the home chores so that each of us knew what to do when. On the nights I just couldn't cook because I was too tired, he made himself mac-n-cheese. And we conquered the horrific madhouse called the grocery store together on Thursday nights ($10 off $50 purchase every Thursday). Without his continuous commitment to make my life easier, I'm sure I couldn't survive anything in life.

Finally, health. We've been eating healthy (lots of vegetarian meals and whole grains)---and I think it's paid off so far! I didn't take one single sick day all semester---not for diabetes or illness. Woo hoo! And I work in a germ-infested (and H1N1/regular flu/cold/strep infested) environment.

Success. Relief. Joy.

I hope to relax and relish in the next four weeks. Good things are to come.

Christmas Cards: A Lost Art?

2009-12-08T17:02:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's in my blood. My mom faithfully wrote out Christmas cards each year to everyone including her dad's eight sisters and their families, my father's four siblings and their families, friends, neighbors, church members, long-distant relatives, our school bus driver, teachers, etc.

I believe a card is a beautiful thing---Christmas or not. Ask my husband. I am ADDICTED to our local Hallmark store which is located only about a mile and a half from our home. I walk in and the cashier says, "Hi, Rachel!" The ladies who work there like to hold my daughter. They don't ask me if I "need help finding anything?" because they are well aware that I know the store's merchandise just as well as they do. The store itself smells like a holiday---sweet and rich. I could work there and make Hallmark a ton of money. Maybe I will someday.

I'm a fan of sending cards year-round. A crisp, pastel envelope (sealed with a sticker, of course!) in the mailbox is all someone needs to see to brighten his or her day. It's symbolism really. Imagine the stack of mail you bring into your house every day. Chances are you get a few credit card offers and credit card bills. You see some grocery store fliers, a postcard from the car-mart down the road featuring their weekend sale (again), and of course, more bills. And then, there it is: a card. It might say something as simple as "hi," or be filled with encouragement, or perhaps it's for your birthday. This is how real life is. A lot of days are filled with "junk" (the harsh "real world") but when something good happens, and maybe it's just something small, your whole day can be turned around. And in turn, you do something nice for someone else.

December has me anxiously awaiting the mail each day. I can't wait to toss the fliers (which I throw into the recycle bin before they ever enter my home), put the bills aside, and rip into the envelopes that hold promise. I get a rise out of it.

Some days there are four, five, even six cards in the mail, and some days, there's just one. But either way, I rejoice.

I've already sent my cards this year---hoping to begin a wave of holiday cheer. Each year after Christmas, I head to my beloved Hallmark and load up on wrapping paper (their paper is the BEST---it has little lines on the inside to help you cut it straight!) and Christmas cards. They have the most lovely cards! Then I lovingly pack them away in a storage bin in the basement where they patiently wait for the following late-November to roll around. I then pull them out, admire them, and start writing.

I'm traditionally not a fan of Christmas letters or photo cards. Though it is fun to read about what our nearest and dearest have been up to, it's usually just a brag fest. The photo cards seem to lack the love that a handwritten "Merry Christmas" and signature offers---yet it's so fun to see how creative those we know can be.

What I love is that beautiful, unique, and simple card---something that reminds me of what Christmas should be about but often is forgotten, pushed aside, or substituted.

Unfortunately, the art of sending Christmas cards is dwindling. I get fewer and fewer cards every year. I'm afraid that in five years, the extent of wishing one another a Merry Christmas will be a text, an e-mail, or a Facebook message.

Friends, if you have time, send a few cards this year. The joy that a simple act brings someone is well worth a few moments of your time.

DIY Christmas Decor

2009-12-05T19:49:00.000-08:00

I saw this idea in a magazine (sorry, but I have forgotten the source) and attempted to recreate it in my kitchen area. Because I have a very active and mobile one-year-old, the decor is all up higher this year.

This project is simple and inexpensive, plus it's possible you have some of the materials in your cabinets and drawers.

What you need:

Ribbon (I used sheer white, medium green, and satin red)

Cookie cutters (I used small and medium in various shapes)

Greenery of some sort (to add volume and texture)

Christmas music (t0 set the mood)

scissors

A place to hang it (I used my dining area light, but other places might be open stair railing, another light fixture, a wreath, etc.)

Directions:

Cut ribbons at various lengths.

String the cookie cutters through, and tie the ribbon at the top.

Place ribbons over your chosen hanging.

Cover the hanging, like I did, with the greenery to disguise the tops of the ribbons and to add volume and texture.

Enjoy!

At the end of the season, use the ribbon for accessorizing gifts or hair bows and the cookie cutters for baking (obviously).

I can see myself recreating this look for other holidays like Valentine's Day, Easter, Halloween, etc. Any holiday that has its own cookie cutters!

4 weeks

2009-12-01T20:33:00.000-08:00

In less than two weeks, I will be blessed with FOUR entire weeks off work---a break between fall and spring semesters. I have a long list of projects I hope to tackle including organizing our pantry (again), re-organizing the basement to establish a play area for our daughter, organize and file all the paperwork in my office (ranging from magazine pages, writing ideas, and lesson plans), organizing my recipes and homemade cookbook, and finishing my daughter's one year scrapbook.

That is a lot of work. I thought I was supposed to be on break.

However, I mainly want to simply relax and take one day at a time, enjoying my daughter, making some new recipes (going to attempt tofu again) for my family, and getting lost in simple day-to-day living---working on an article, doing the laundry, taking photos of my daughter. Oh yes, and blogging.

Plans are wonderful. But the best things in life come from the unexpected.

I have four wonderful weeks off work. May I enjoy those things which I do not plan.

Simply Stated

2009-11-18T10:04:00.000-08:00

"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere."
~Frank A. Clark

For those struggling today, know that your path is making you stronger and smarter. Go where God leads, even when it's not easy, and you will be blessed.

Party Planning--The end of me or domestic triumph?

2009-11-15T09:47:00.000-08:00

Family photo.

The princess' outfit.

"Pumpkin" cake and cupcakes

The s'more pit

Indoor decor.
Drink station and photo display
The sky---beautiful day!

One of the most domestic things a person can do is throw a child's birthday party. It's no easy task and requires an ability to be creative, organized, and flexible. Oh, and an outstanding capability to handle extreme bouts of stress and/or happy elation.

My daughter was approaching her first birthday, and I had long envisioned the day she would turn the big ONE. I wanted a pumpkin-themed party, perfect for her November birthday. For months prior to her party, I shopped sales and purchased decorations, food, prizes, craft supplies, and more. I scoured the internet for ideas, talked to girlfriends about party-planning tips, and made list upon list. I created a guest list of 75 people and when I went to cut the guest list, I ended up adding more guests instead. This party was going to be a BIG DEAL.

We started by wanting to have her birthday at the local park. To rent the pavilion was a mere $20, and we'd have access to a playground. Perfect. Then I learned that the bathrooms would be locked for the winter starting on Halloween. Um, who throws a party and doesn't have bathrooms available? So we moved the party a a free vicinity---our church fellowship hall---which has bathrooms and a playground.

I made my invitations using leftover Stampin' Up supplies (host a party---sweet benefits!) and a $1 pumpkin stamp from Michael's. Because I am not a fan of traditional fall colors, I decided to go with a pink and orange theme (think princess meets fall), and I found the most beautiful scrapbook paper (Michael's) featuring an orange background with pink swirls all over it. The front of the invite said, "Our pumpkin is turning one," and the details were outlined inside.

I was certain that the dreary, cold fall days of October would continue into November, so I purchased apple cider and hot chocolate for the guests thinking this was more fitting for the season and less unhealthy than traditional punch. We purchased items to make s'mores on a small fire pit outside which I knew would be a hit with the kids and adults. I purchased all natural cake mixes (Naturally Nora) to make cupcakes made to look like pumpkins. See instructions here for the decor.

For decorations, I had to face the challenge of a large, rather blank space. I knew that if the weather cooperated, we'd be spending part of the party outdoors, so spending a lot of money on decorations seemed unnecessary. For the tables, I borrowed decorative glass bowls, filled them with candy corn (purchased in clearance after Halloween), and tied a balloon (alternating pink and orange) around the neck of the bowl for height and color. Beneath the bowls I placed (alternating) pink and orange fabric squares (purchased at a fabric store for 99cents each). I also created a display of photos for the drink table featuring thirteen photos of my daughter (one for each month of her life including stage newborn).

Now, the biggest challenge was coming up with activities for children ranging in age very new to high school. I decided to not worry about the babies or kids older than ten since the babies would be amused with playing on blanket on the floor and the older kids would be happy for some food and a basketball court. I first came up with a craft---decorating foam pumpkin cutouts with various art supplies like ribbon, googly eyes, pompoms, etc. The kids LOVED this activity!

After that, we played "hot pumpkin" (same as hot potato) with a mini pumpkin. Again---simple, cheap, and fun. As kids were weeded out, they could go guess how many items were in the glass pumpkin. It was so cute to hear kids guess "four" or "five hundred." The actual number of items was fifty-one. :)

We then had food and opened gifts before heading outside for s'mores and playground fun. The weather, in case you are interested, was NOTHING like the previous days. Instead, it was 75 and sunny! Needless to say, the cider and hot chocolate wasn't as big of a hit as the pink lemonade we decided to make at the last minute.

One of the best decisions I made was asking someone to take pictures for us. B did an awesome job as you can see from some of the photos above.

It was very important to me that my baby girl look like the birthday girl. I ordered her a custom tutu off Ebay and picked up her shirt and hair barrettes from Gymboree. I found leggings at Target for only $3, and the bib that says "Happy Birthday" was made by my mom.

All in all, it was a beautiful day, full of laughter, love, and beauty.

After it was over, I felt relief. Will I throw a party this big ever again? Probably not. But I'm happy I did it. And yes, I conquered another domestic task---with style!

So, if you are thinking of throwing a big party, here's my advice:

Keep it as simple as possible. Games, crafts, and food do not have to be complicated to be enjoyable. My decorations were nothing fancy, yet they looked festive and were edible (candy corn!).

Dress up your prince or princess, especially for a first birthday. Have fun with it!

Have a unique theme. I'm not a fan of cartoon themes---and my mom showed us how to throw a great party using more creative themes. For my January birthday, my mom once had a Hawaiian party for my friends and me. We cranked up the fireplace for heat and wore swimsuits and grass skirts. It was a blast! My sister requested a tea party for one of her birthdays (which, like mine, is in January).

Shop often and early. I had time to find the best deals on the items I really wanted.

Hire or ask someone to take photos. Yes, this might be an added expense, but at least you and your spouse can enjoy the party rather than spend the whole time behind the lens.

Don't be afraid to invite a range of people as long as you can offer them foods and activities that are age-appropriate. The basketball court and s'mores provided fun for our older (teen) guests.

Have a mid-afternoon or mid-morning party to save money on food. We had snack foods only because our party was from 3-5 p.m.

Find a free or nearly-free facility. Our church fellowship hall worked well. Use your home, a relative's home, or a local park.

My best advice: Only do this once, for a really special birthday. Because it is SO MUCH WORK! But as the old saying goes no pain, no gain

Regifting

2009-11-13T18:06:00.000-08:00

As we approach the holiday season, you might be wondering if it is or isn't ok to regift. Now I am not etiquette expert; however, I am a girl who has some allergies (and you know how women love to give one another candles and bath products). So I usually have a spare vanilla candle or apple pear body spray sitting in my closet. Oftentimes these items come without a gift receipt or an indicator of orgin. So...yes, I regift.

I'm all for regifting if you follow a few simple rules:

1: Know who gave you the gift originally. I once read that you should place a sticky note labeled with the giver's name on the item to make sure you don't accidentally give it back to the giver or someone in that person's circle. BE SURE TO REMOVE the sticky note before regifting. I also read once to have a regifting shelf or box in a low-traffic area of your home.

2: Only regift an item that you would consider buying for the person. (If you find yourself stuck with something you can't regift, donate it, stick it your yardsale box, or try to return it).

3: Make sure the item is in new condition when you regift it. I seriously once received a baby positioner that had a huge yellow stain on it. Seriously? It'd be better not to give anything. A yellow stain---God only knows what caused that. Ewwwwwww.

4: Be careful when regifting food items. Wine is usually easy to regift. A box of chocolates, not so much if not done quickly. Check expiration dates, and keep food the proper temperature and away from light. When it doubt---THROW IT OUT!

The benefits of regifting:

1: Saves you money.

2: Helps you clear out unwanted items from your closet.

3: Makes someone else (hopefully) happy.

If you don't want to regift:

1: Attempt to return the item for a store credit or exchange. Be aware that some stores limit how many returns you can make before they will cut you off.

2: Donate the item. We have a local children's home that runs a store. They come around about once a month and collect donations, including household products, furniture, clothing, etc.

3: Swap it! I have seriously considered hosting a new and gently-used clothing and more night with my girlfriends. However, I have decided that I really just want to get rid of items, not swap. Plus, I don't want to end up accidentally trying to swap my items only to find that the giver of those items was (oops!) invited to my party.

4: Yard sale. I keep a yard sale box (or two or three) in my basement at all times. Either I have my own sale, participate in someone else's sale, or donate the items to a charity yard sale.

Better gift giving practices to avoid your item being regifted:

1: Give a gift receipt. Why not?

2: Don't buy scented stuff, certain wines, clothing, etc. for people you don't know well. So many have sensitivities and allergies. And really, who needs ANOTHER candle or body spray?

3: Buy a neutral gift if you are uncertain of the person's tastes. I'm all for things like a light scarf, interesting (not weird or strong) foods (Trader Joe's), a journal, a tote bag, a (variety) cookbook, etc. These are things that everyone could use one more of.

4: There is always the gift card. I am not a huge fan---but they do allow the receiver to get something he or she really will use. When in doubt, I vote for a Starbucks or Barnes and Noble gift card. Who doesn't like a drink or a book?

Thank You Notes

2009-11-10T17:21:00.000-08:00

I recently participated in a heated discussion on this topic on a message board. Here's my two cents:

If someone takes the time to purchase or make a gift for you, you owe them a thank you note. The note should be handwritten, mailed, and done so in a timely manner (preferably within one week of the gift being given).

Children should be taught the importance of writing thank you notes. My daughter (via mommy, of course) will be sending out thank you notes for her birthday gifts. We'll sign them with her hand print. When I was a child, we were sat down around the kitchen table after every gift-giving/receiving holiday and told to write our thank you notes. Yes, we groaned and grumbled, but now I appreciate the attitude of thankfulness that my mother instilled in me.

If the person who gave the gift is tech-savvy, an e-mail thank you is sometimes appropriate.

Thank you notes can be simple---but they must always be sincere. You can follow a general format, just customize the words to fit the occasion and gift:

Dear ______,

Thank you for _________. I will use it ____________ (how, when, where you will use the gift). I appreciate your friendship.

Love, ___________

People argue that thank you notes take too long. Well, what takes longer is the time it took the person to purchase or make you a gift. People argue that sending thank you notes via snail mail is archaic and can be expensive, but what's expensive is the money and time it took the giver to purchase or make you that gift. And the old "snail mail is archaic argument"? To that I say, what's archaic (think Adam and Eve, folks) is the way you are acting by selfishly embracing entitlement but not gratefulness and class.

The lack of sending a thank you note reflects the general attitude in our society---one of entitlement and selfishness. I hate to see the tradition of putting our love and gratefulness in writing evaporate.

Please remember to say thank you this holiday season and always.

Missing

2009-11-07T17:13:00.000-08:00

I despise losing things. I get very frustrated, tear up the house from top to bottom, and then sulk when the missing item cannot be found. I then go to work and think about the item that is missing. Then I come home and remember that the item is STILL missing.

Losing things rarely occurs under my watch. I am structured and organized. But this week, our household is missing my brand new black and white plaid scarf from Macy's, my husband's new belt, and our checkbook. Oh yes, and my house slippers which I believe my daughter might have thrown into the trash can (again), but this time the trash monster ate them.

It's no wonder life is a little crazy around here. In just a few days it will be my daughter's first birthday. We have piles of food, paper products, prizes, craft supplies, lists, etc. stashed all over the house. I'm trying to relish in these moments before the party, because once it's over we'll be left with more piles of leftover, odd-and-end, paper products, food, and gifts. Then there will be piles of thank you notes to write. Each of these birthday planning and celebrating stages are treasures, no doubt.

In the meantime, I'll be going crazy and asking---

does anyone know where my scarf is?